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letra de porous - the maledict

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the ice and salt of the northern waters, settling within the bottom of my lungs
the streams that assailed me as i swam against them, with a wish to be pulled to the bed of the tides

with the passage of time, my eyes have adjusted to the encroaching shroud, my lack of a purpose
my memories of you, of being someone else, sealed in amber, fantasies of a child

the night is damp, thick in the deadened shades of black
i stand beneath the trees, watching the moonlight shimmering through their leaves, casting their shadows over me
across the clearing to obscure me from view
drinking the hot summer air, the winds washing over me

have all my years simply disappeared?
like nothing’s changed, this old ache still remains

the desire is still in me, cool and frail against my chest
i stood here unseen, and prayed to you

unworthy am i. undeserving am i
you were my deity, porous was your beauty

mirror down your sun, to warm my face in this mire
my refuge in this darkness, i’ve paid for in my nightmares

nothing carnal or cerebral
only you and only i, for a moment
for a moment, i could feel you
a fleeting time in which to worship, knowing this elation cannot be permanent, so unguarded and pure
and i know, this moment will never return
your hand against my cheek
there are no secrets here
i find the embrace of the earth and all that i know is love

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