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letra de it's a fanboy christmas - the great luke ski

(4 measure intro)

it’s a fanboy christmas, there’s geek-dom in the air
the comic shops and toy stores, are crowded everywhere
each dork and dweeb and doofus, does their holiday thing
they form a nerdy chorus, and they all begin to sing

(to the tune of “all i want for christmas is my two front t–th”)
all i want for christmas is my emotion chip
emotion chip, emotion chip
all i want for christmas is my emotion chip
so i can have a merry christmas
androids cannot feel merry
not to mention loving or affection
if i do not get my emotion chip
i will start an in-surrection

(to the tune of “grandma got run over by a reindeer”)
gowron got run over by a reindeer
on his way to fight the dominion war
now he’s drinking down his christmas blood-wine
in the curse-ed halls of stovokor

(to the tune of “do you hear what i hear?”)
said the barkeep to his brother rom
‘do you ‘ear’ what i ‘ear’?’
(to the tune of “ave maria”)
ave jadzia… (oh jadzia…)
cardi muerto trill seis… (gul dukat k!lled you in the sixth season…)
marc alaimo shmuck… (geez, what a putz…)
roho polo esta no-no… (that’s what she gets for wearing a red wedding dress on a star trek show.)

it’s a fanboy christmas, at ren fests and conventions
we’re sending all the fruit cakes, to alternate dimensions
bashir walked into the bar. “what would you like?”, quark said
bashir responded “egg nog”, and nog got egged in the head. (smack! “ow!”)

(to the tune of “rudolph the red nosed reindeer”)
“buffy the vampire slayer”
made a really cr-ppy film
luke perry and paul rubens
made the average viewer ill
all of the warner brothers
gave it a tim burton twist
now watch her k!ll on tv
showing off her ample acting ability!

(to the tune of “angels we have heard on high”)
angel, you’re a studly guy
watch out girls, he’ll suck you dry. oh…

(to the tune of “we need a little christmas”)
mulder and scully
are on my rooftop, what have
they come here to see?
u.f.o. reindeer
is it saint nick? no, it’s a
big conspiracy now
cause we need a little x-files
we’ll be overjoyous
when we fill our stockings
full of paranoias
so just send the men in black home
because they annoy us
we need a little x-files now
(to the tune of “let it snow”)
now my d.m. is a curmudgeon
he trapped me in a dungeon
i hope these dice will save my troll
let it roll, let it roll, let it roll
now you may think my life is tragic
cause i play with cards of magic
that cost me my eternal soul
let it roll, let it roll, let it roll

it’s a fanboy christmas, from roswell to missourah
we’re wishing happy qwanzaa, to sisko and uhura
our jewish friends have opened, the gifts that we did buy ’em
the brand new kosher transformer, optimus l’chaim!

(to the tune of “hava nagilah”)
hercules and xena, hercules and xena, hercules and xena, iolias, gabriel
hercules and xena, hercules and xena, hercules and xena, iolias, gabriel
herc is a demi-god, xen’ has a k!ller bod
iolias died, and gabby cried, cause joxer is a clod

(to the tune of “the dreidel song”)
tribble, tribble, tribble, you’re made of fluffy fur
tribble, tribble, tribble, we love to hear you purr
tribble, tribble, tribble, you’re really just a pain
tribble, tribble, tribble, you ate up all our grain
(to the tune of “the hanukkah song”)
get on your taun-taun-nukkah
it’s star wars hanukkah
you can hang out with qui-gon-nukkah
on the millenium falcon-nukkah
with a wookie named chewba-nukkah
(everybody:) please help me obi-wan-nukkah
so go see episode one-nukkah
and have a happy, happy, happy star wars hanukkah!

it’s a fanboy christmas, the temperature is nippley
so throw aliens on the fire, with that new clone of ripley
the anime cartoon stars, are all getting along
the dementites and dementiods are all listening to this song!

(to the tune of “the little drummer boy”)
danger, danger young will robinson
for dr. smith is coming will robinson
i know you have been searching for babylon (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
you’re hungry, have some fish heads, eat them up yum
eat them up yum, eat them up yum…
linoleum… yeah!

(to the tune of “i saw mommy kissing santa claus”)
i… saw marvin… kissing santa claus…
underneath the doorway… late last night…
(door:) please enjoy your trip through this door! enjoy tonight’s film, “it’s a wonderful life!”
“it’s a wonderful life”… don’t talk to me about “it’s a wonderful life”

(to the tune of “the chipmunk song”)
christmas, christmas time is here
i hit the toy store each year
slip the stocker a twenty
action figures all for me
at conventions, sell the girth
i charge twelve times what they’re worth
gee, this christmas time is swell
(spoken:) until all the little kids who want to buy the toys just so they can play with ’em all get together and hunt me down and catch me and k!ll me and then i’ll burn in h-ll!

it’s a fanboy christmas, and outside it’s a blizzard
so curl up by the fire, with your copy of wizard
lara croft’s new yule raider, just might over-s-x us
and wolverine is here to wish us all a merry x-mas!

(to the tune of “jingle bells”)
jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg
the batmobile broke its wheel, and the joker got away
penguin spewed, riddler’s food, in two-face’s cup
when catwoman soiled her litter, alfred cleaned it up

(to the tune of “silent night”)
silent bob… jay and bob…
hatchet men… is their job…
just two pot prophets with some weird quirks
just two mallrats hassling clerks
always chasing amy
smokin’ snootchie bootchies

(to the tune of “god rest ye merry gentlemen”)
god rest ye merry pokemon, inside your poke b-lls
team rocket, jesse, james, and meowth are here to wreck your halls
no decorations will they hang, nor carols will they sing
they’re too busy poke-christmas card collecting
stealing all that they can get from burger king

(to the tune of “auld lange syne”)
should voyager ever get home
and again see earth’s sun shine
then you’ll find me out on the town
with my date, seven of nine
it’s a fanboy christmas, no time to dilly-dally
get all the geeks together, cause it’s time for the finale…

(to the tune of “the twelve days of christmas”)
on the twelfth day of christmas, my fangirl gave to me…
twelve larpers larping
eleven filkers filking
ten apes from deep sp-ce
nine ‘doctor who’s
eight sweet transvestites
seven of nine
six ewoks dancing
five cardassian lights
(picard:) there are four lights!
four starfleet captains
three star wars prequels
two protocol droids
and “there can be only one”
sci-fi channel on my tv!

(to the tune of “we wish you a merry christmas”)
we wish you a fanboy christmas
we wish you a fanboy christmas
we wish you a fanboy christmas
and a trekkie new year!

(from “twas the night before christmas”)
…and i heard him exclaim as he flew out of view
‘live long and prosper, and may the force be with you!’

(from “a christmas carol”)
roddenberry bless us, everyone!

(from the three wise men)
push the b-tton, frankincense

- the great luke ski

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