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letra de i didn't have time to rehearse this - the great luke ski

luke: mic check-a, one two…

[verse 1]
the audio is working. cool, good
hopefully the video is playing like it should
that’s my band. is there a music stand?
uh, the lyrics?… they’re here in my hand
printed at a kinko’s, or possibly at home
unless i got my tablet, or i’m reading off my phone
…is the microphone working right?
adjust the mic stand to my 5’7″ height
did i put bottled water on the stage?
oh good. man, i’m really showing my age
all frantic, let me catch my breath, okay?
-inhale-hmm-, -exhale-ahh-, …heyyyyy
marscon! or is it fumpfest?
or some other gig? look, i’m trying my best
but whеn it’s show time, before i sing
i always еnd up saying the same old thing:

[chorus 1]
“i didn’t have time to rehe-rs- this!”
“i didn’t have time to rehe-rs- this!”
i had too much to do! before this show is through
you’re gonna wish i stopped at “mic check-a, one two”!
“i didn’t have time to rehe-rs- this!”
“i didn’t have time to rehe-rs- this!”
every time it’s the same, and i feel so lame
from my blonde hair to my con-verse-es!
[spoken]
kyle: converses? are you talking to someone in this song?
luke: no, no, my tennis shoes, see?
kyle: it’s pr-nounced “con-verse”
luke: it is? is that a regional dialect?
kyle: it, it is not

[verse 2]
long ago, i had to drive for miles
just to sing geeky things for nerdy smiles
and laughs. and man, those shows were a breeze
in the days when people actually still bought cds
hour after hour, driving through the grind
i’d repeat all the lyrics ’til they fused with my mind
so during “what’s up spock?”, while i’m pumpin’ my fist
i’m in my head, writing out my shopping list
but these days, it’s just not the same
i don’t think southwest would let me sit on their plane
and shout [me as gollum:] “you better rule them all for the precious!!!
aaaaahhhh!…” [sfx: gollum/me being thrown off the plane] they’d toss me out over texas
“practice, practice, practice!” i can’t practice at all!
so i guess i’ll never get a show at carnegie hall
and i really wanna feel this act of mine is legit
but they say write what you know, and, um,… this is it

[chorus 2]
“i didn’t have time to rehe-rs- this!” – “rehe-rs- this!”
“i didn’t have time to rehe-rs- this!” – “rehe-rs- this!”
i hope you’ll smile, and aren’t stone like tile
just tolerating this, waiting for tv’s kyle
“i didn’t have time to rehe-rs- this!” – “rehe-rs- this!”
“i didn’t have time to rehe-rs- this!” – “rehe-rs- this!”
i’m cheesier than feta, and this song is too meta
and the rhymes i make are getting worse-es. – “worse-es!”
[spoken]
luke: accordion solo!
kyle: …i- ep- i’m sorry, what?
luke: accordion solo! c’mon!
kyle: at no point did you mention an accordion solo
luke: well, just, just grab it, go! go!
kyle: i, zizz, ut, ut, okay…
[kyle plays something on the accordion, not well because he wasn’t prepared]
luke: yeah! yeah! that’s close enough for jazz!
[kyle still playing]
kyle: okay, you should have told me you wanted an accordian so-
luke: (interrupting) awesome, that’s perfect! time for me to rap again
kyle: fuss
[final accordion chord]

[verse 3]
continuing my lyrical abuses
allow me to give you all my list of excuses
to why i didn’t have the time to properly prepare
and subject you to this syncopated half-assed nightmare
i had a deadline at my storyboarding gig
’bout this funny cartoon lady with a sword shaped like a pig
i was ride-share-driving for a really long trip
anaheim to calabasas, and they didn’t even tip!
my cat curled up and fell asleep on my lap
i couldn’t leave?! that might wake him from his nap!
i read the wikipedia on bronson pinchot
why? (kyle: yeah, why?) how the h-ll should i know?
i threw a birthday party for my nephew alex!
i flew to gallifrey and i fought the daleks!
i had to plan this whole event, which took me really long
so who has time to memorize this stupid frickin’ song?!
[chorus 3]
“i didn’t have time to rehe-rs- this!” – “rehe-rs- this!”
“i didn’t have time to rehe-rs- this!” – “rehe-rs- this!”
you’re all agog this made my catalog
the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog!
“i didn’t have time to rehe-rs- this!” – “rehe-rs- this!”
“i didn’t have time to rehe-rs- this!” – “rehe-rs- this!”
i’m sorry fans, i just have too many plans
and -i’m- surprised that i wrote three verses! “verses!”

[chorus 4]
“i didn’t have time to rehe-rs- this!” – “rehe-rs- this!”
“i didn’t have time to rehe-rs- this!” – “rehe-rs- this!”
please don’t give me flack, and say i’m a hack
it’s at least a half-way decent album filler track!
“i didn’t have time to rehe-rs- this!” – “rehe-rs- this!”
“i didn’t have time to rehe-rs- this!” – “rehe-rs- this!”
and given my schedule it’s kinda amazing
that this song even happened at all, really…

kyle: …rehe-rs- this…

- the great luke ski

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