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letra de the courage to face reality, and the desire to escape it - the great city

what if i’m so used to this?
just another habit i’m not ready to kick
into the past and leave behind
carry on with life, it’s the best
disguise to hide away
i feel so hard done by
not by you, not by the world
just by myself

i’m getting used to just sitting here
these nights are constantly blurred
by days p-ssing by
i’m thinking too hard about nothing

“you know, the pain. of you. day in, day out, being there. not knowing what to say. not caring anymore. not even knowing that you’ll probably only care about her when it’s finally too late. forgetting about all those desperate years you spent alone, your barren years when no woman would even consider resting her tired head on your shaky little shoulder. and then when you finally get one of these coveted pieces of tail that that have been built up as the grand trophy in your nothing life, you try desperately to keep it — not to protect it, but to h–rd it, to keep it away from the other wolves and jackals circling your territory. and you realise, all too soon, that you’re not good enough.”

looking out the window
you’ll never see anyone there
everyone i see, repulsing
the thought of ever leaving
i think to myself as i look outside
“the world out there is too big for me to survive
purely on the habits that day by day, year by year
take me to a place i wish i’d stayed.”

turn me into someone i never hoped to be
i want to remember what i did yesterday

“because you knew deep inside that you were what you feared you were — weak, and p-ssive, and ultimately broken by the ones who were made the fittest. and that through your weaknesses you built up a poison, that poisoned others around you… that you love.”

apology for the person i used to be
because now i’m just used to it
its taste, i’m used to it
it’s becoming so easy to be with you
my happy friend
i’m used to it, i promise you
i’m honestly used to it

reflecting on my life
have i ever done anything i’m proud of?
will i ever make you proud?
will you smile when you remember me?
’cause it’s not easy going through the days
never knowing what’s coming

struggling to realise
that there is a life ahead of me
that i’m not ready for
every day i’m getting worse
every day i’m making myself better
i’m happy seeing life how it should be seen
wishing that the world could see it for themselves

give it to me straight
uneven heartbeats
it’s too hard to distinguish
what’s changed so far
it’s too hard to mask, (it’s too hard)
because i’m so used to this
i can’t find the next step to take
i’ve let years go by
solace in misery

i’ll push my thoughts into another world
and leave my body to rot

what if i’m so used to this
i can’t get ready to kick it?
another day just sitting there
waiting for time to p-ss by

give it to me straight, i need rest
what’s left of me?
i’m asking you for help
i don’t know where to go
i will be nothing

take the pain away from me

who’s there to talk to
when we’re all so different?
don’t force this into me
when i just want to die happy

- the great city

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