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letra de scrooge vs the grinch. epic rap battles of christmas - the crossing curch

epic rap battles of christmas!
ebenezer scrooge!
vs!
the grinch!
begin!

[verse 1: the grinch]
hold on to your hats yeah
you better listen up
i’m about to drop bombs
on your cindy lo who b-tts
christmas is stupid
that endless mountain of toys
spoiled little brats and all that
noise noise noise
i’m the master of evil
i’ve got a beautiful plan
me and my dog max
are gonna rip the joy from this land
i’m the grinch
and i’m here to steal christmas
i’m vicious ambitious
and comming for your wish list
you’re on my hit list
all your whoville who’s
when i steal all of your toys
i’m making front page news
no one hates christmas more than me
it’s the truth, it’s a fact, it’s reality

[verse 2: ebenezer scrooge]
what’s this i hear
from a slimy green punk?
those rhymes and i quote
stink stank stunk
everyone knows i’m the cl-ssic
yuletide miser
compared to me you’re some kind of
holiday sympathizer
you think you’re evil
but true evil has cl-ss
it’s all about the bling cha-ching the dough
and the cash
three piece suit and i’m rocking this scarf
you’re covered in rags
and your breath reeks of barf
go crawl in a hole
and decrease the surplus populous
the fact is this business is for the
fiscally meticulous
how can you claim to be evil
when you dress like st. nicholas
you’re not even wearing pants
that’s absolutely ridiculous

[verse 3: the grinch]
that get up’s got nothing
on my costume tailored green and red
you should go quit the bank scene
and be a carnie instead
what the d-ckens are you thinking
wearing a sweater dress to bed?
who does that
only people
who are messed up in the head
you’re old your hips would break if you tell
that arthritis has set
joints have started to swell
how are those varicose veins
are they treating you well?
people say i stink
but everyone know that old person smell
evil is for treasurers and collectors
don’t give me those lectures
evil is found in the heart
and mine has obvious defectures
quit trying to bore me
with your stupid ghost advenctures
go back to bed
and don’t forget to soak your dentures

[verse 4: ebenezer scrooge]
you’re a mean one
but i’m about to get meaner
i’ll kick an orphan off my doorstep
just to make it a little cleaner
i’m a true ebenezer
sick flow that will make you greener
i’m gonna pop lock and drop it
in a british demeanor
even though it’s midwinter
i can still make it rain
your only friend is a dog
and you live in a cave, fool
yes i’ll admit i’ve had a haunting or two
but when my fist haunts your head
i’ll make a ghost out of you
wash that ugly off your face
and you should start brushing
and i’m from england
that’s saying something
what are you some kind of
green mutated chimp?
if you wanna know who’s more evil
i just kicked a kid with a limp

[verse 5: santa claus]
ho ho ho!
well i guess it’s that time of the year
when all the downers come out
and try to steal christmas cheer
you better watch out
because now santa is here
and i’m rocking a sleigh
and eight tiny reindeer
‘twas the night before christmas
and all through the house
santa wiped the floor with the
old man and the green man
with the words out his mouth
these yuletide rhymes are prime
with a side of cookies and milk
you’re dropping rap that’d
make a christmas tree wilt
i’m built 4’10” and 404
you’re nothing i’m something
and everybody knows
my bowl full of jelly starts to jiggle and roll
and i’m so full of flow that these b-ttons
are about to go

[verse 6: elf]
gigantic his frantic antics coming out of
every stereotype you can’t plan it
cool nicknacks plastic packs
with a lactic act so whack
you can’t crack
pacific to atlantic it’s his tactic
that’s the knack no slack

[verse 7: santa claus]
making spastic tracks in my boots

[verse 8: elf]
elastic

[verse 9: santa claus]
you might hate on christmas
you might hate on chris kringle
but you know you’re just jealous
because you’re lonely and single
look at you two you’re both just
greedy little boys
i wanna exile you both on
the isle of misfit toys
you try to pretend like you’re cold as ice
but i checked my list twice
and it turns out you’re both nice
despite your cold heart
and despite your desguises
you made peace with bob cratchit
andy your heart grew three sizes
now you both work for me
so get back to the shop
little suzy wants a dolly
and tommy wants a laptop
now i’m in charge here
so i’m stopping this fight
merry christmas to all and to all, a good night

who won?
you decide!
epic rap battles of christmas!

- the crossing curch

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