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letra de sales said yes (prod. by $stdout and yla) - $stdout

sales gotta close, on the grind
can’t say no, get it signed
they need contracts
yeah that’s the bottom line
they said yes, devs can build that
yes, custom bill that
yes, we’ll make an exception
yes, yes to every question
yes to things we don’t support
yes to things that don’t exist
yes we will not come up short
promise stuff we’ll never ship
go to check in with the devs
we’re shaking our heads
we can’t build that now
no, we got tech debt
no, you heard what we said
no, that would be a mess
no, it’s a bad call
we need to fix this process
ceo stepping in
says we got a sla
what? that’s just f—ing great
—-! guess we’ll find a way

(chorus)
sales said yes, dev said no, that’s how it goes
got no voice, got no choice, to write this code
i said my piece and hold my peace and hold my nose
cause this smelly code is going in even though i said no!

building something janky, angry that i lost my flow
all my roadmap planning went straight out the window
it’s been 2 months i finished cranking out this one-off feature
but the prospect didn’t sign yet and they might not either?!
they need hand-holding
they’re being such a tease
they need help onboarding
yeah they need guarantees
well here’s more time allotted
just sign on the dotted
anything to close
my lead dev will kiss your toes
3 months later, things are finally in place
then their ba says the feature doesn’t fit their use case
i just cannot even
i’m fighting dev demons
sales just scheduled a call
i’m ready to go off
when i join i get confused
it’s a different topic
they say that user’s old news
cause we got em locked in
this is a kick-off meeting
we made a few agreements
yeah, we got new needs
sales got a hot lead

- stdout

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