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letra de essex is crap - spitting image

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[verse 1]
kent is renowned as the garden of england
in cornwall there’s a lot to be seen
suss-x has wonderful coastal resorts
and devon has beautiful cream

[verse 2]
lancashire has its famous sausages
yorkshire, the best beer on tap
but the county of ess-x is different
ess-x is just cr-p
[chorus 1]
ess-x, ess-x – ess-x is cr-p
it’s an absolute abomination
ess-x – may it fall off the map
it’s a boil on the bum of the nation

[verse 3]
we all cover our houses in stone cladding
satellite dishes are always in sight
ess-x is wherе steve davis comes from
which provеs he’s got to be sh-te

[verse 4]
most of our mates here are crooked
people get shot in the street
but apart from that we’re the nicest
bunch you’d wish to meet

[chorus 2]
ess-x, ess-x – what is it for?
we can’t think of anywhere viler
ess-x, where there’s mobiles galore
and in every dream home, a rottweiler

[verse 5]
where you find the likes of norman tebbit go
where page 3 girls buy their mum a bungalow
where we get “rocky v” out on video
oh yes, that’s ess-x, man
[verse 6]
if you think it’s really posh to drink malibu
if you need a calculator to count to two
if you think the stories in the sunday sport are true
then you’re an ess-x man
yes, you’re an ess-x man

[chorus 3]
ess-x – may it go up in smoke
it’s about as much fun as a tumour
ess-x people can’t take a joke
they’ve absolutely no sense of humour

[bridge]
sh-ll suits, blood sports
union jack boxer shorts
lucozade, daily star
garfield stuck in the back of your car
white socks, grey penny loafers
camcorders, world of leather sofas
dodgy motors, burgers ‘n’ pizza
karaoke, timeshare in ibiza
coal effect fires, designer beer
polluted coast, southend pier
are here, here, here – in ess-x

- spitting image

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