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letra de worst. rodeo. ever. (the ballad of blastin’ bessy!) - spellcasting

once upon a time, in the wild, wild west
there was a smart young lady who went by the name of bess
oldest of seven children, she feels adventure in her chest
but her sweet, well-meaning parents just won’t let her leave the nest
they’d say, “please, bessy, you can’t leave home
the world’s so scary when you’re out there on your own
you’re just a little girl, you’ll get picked to the bone
you belong right here on the farm, not alone”
so, she would sigh and go back to her chores
taking care of her siblings scrubbing on all fours
she works all day ’til her body’s all sore
and then collapses in bed while someone creeps up to their back door
it was mean old sam

mean old sam is an evil, bad man
the meanest desperado in the wild, wild, lands
he’ll k!ll you and then take everything you own
and then burn your house down just because he’s cold

mean old sam kicked the door right down
charged right in and swung his big iron around and said
“give me everything, you got all your valuables
i want all of your coin or i’ll haul you off in manacles”
they all started to scream and yell
including mom and dad, they were wailing as well
only little bessy didn’t crack under the pressure
she looked tall, looked calm, looked smarter than ever, she said
“hey mister sam, don’t be a fool, we’ll settle this between me and you, have a duel
think that you can take me down? ha! sam, you’re such a clown”
sam was p-ssed she hurt his pride
“fine, little lady, let’s go outside”
the second he turned around to leave
bessy grabbed her dad’s gun and
shot him right in the back
and then, bessy’s parents let her go on a journey and she became the best cowgirl ever
and everybody loved-

- spellcasting

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