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letra de paper train - so long... partner

put me on that paper train
i’ve been bruised and broke and shamed
give me a break or break me
give me a break

i’ll advertise or monologue
nothing need be tamed
but we weren’t supposed to be here
this runs deeper than a stain

our history’s conditional
in service of today
the clear accounts they’ll have
are times when we felt pain

we won’t remember joy, i guеss
the time he hеld my cheek
in the bas-m-nt of a page
they’ll redact that, cause they’re ashamed

and he’ll become himself
but so much of him was crafted by
another in the end
as i was told to be myself
until someone said stop
and every letter burns to make a
timeline civilized enough
to justify the path
red red road
winding like an altruist
a wainwright and his work
crafted vessels of enablement
the trojan horse was claimed
as a trophy, for some soldiers
or presented as a gift
either way it meant their end

the wains become themselves
all the edges, hounds and axles join
to stalk the west for “freedom”
to cleanse away our shame

oh, we will become ourselves
packed inside an offering
all full of life
all compromise and sacrifice and
father, failure, rain
his name, color, collarbone
clean hands under the creek
all of us accomplices
and thieves who just want peace
and inside that is antithesis
inside that is antithesis
inside that is antithesis
inside that is antithesis
inside that is antithesis
i’ll sing stories of the day
you dragged me from the mourners bench
showed me tape machines, posters, shirts
you worship like a he-rs-

it’s all frontiersman, pioneers
unknown dying art
that wants to be a part
but wants to be apart

but you’ll ignore that, we’ll watch movies
and we’ll drink and drink and think
and as we’re entertained the earth
will change under our feet

but of course, it really won’t
just the sound of all the dying
i’m past the point of apathy
enabling the weak

so put me on that paper train
so put me on that paper train
so put me on that paper train
i’ll be your trojan horse

i’ll spout all that history
of suffering, forget tomorrow
its cliche, but it’ll pay
there’s never end to war
so put me on that paper train
so put me on that paper train
i’ll hand over all that pain
say there was nothing more

but within i’m the antithesis
within i’m the antithesis
within i’m the antithesis
will anybody know?
within i’m the antithesis
within i’m the antithesis
but below that i’m still starving
and out of all control
within i’m the antithesis
within i’m the antithesis
just trying to survive
while everyone just dies
within i’m the antithesis

will heaven really be so great?
or will it be gender-less, euphoric, absence of a body?
fully rid of bigotry
don’t f-cking tease me
i will not be welcome there
so cast me down in shame
and as far as what i leave behind?
(all that progress?)
i have as much control of that
as signing up for life
regardless, this was real
history won’t care
i know there was love
you can’t recall, cause you weren’t there

no, you will only remember our suffering
but oh!
what a memory to me

- so long partner

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