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letra de spirit-candles, hopeless vigil - silvertine

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(“and before we begin, i would like to share some words of robert burns which have recently become quite meaningful to me:
‘beneath the shelter of an aged tree’…”)

i don’t remember what i said when i last spoke to you in person
and the only clue i had i buried with neon hatchets in silver snow

but all that means is i deleted all my texts
’cause i’ve been burning candles at both ends
over sacred scrolls like owl spirits outside of time
but it’s a ritualistic spell, like an amber turtle sh-ll
and my viking lightship pyre was caught in the gravity well of alexandria prime

i’m dreading i’ll pass you by on a mystic sidewalk
while i am half asleep and spinning crystal vision
shoulders straining toward the snow
but my head bends with the boughs, nocturnal anyhow
and i’m powerless, incensed, and burnt-out, but you deserve to know:

i’m sorry and i don’t hate you
i just needed a better reason to hate myself

and in the dead of night, half-dead
i half-hope to catch you half-moon gazing out on your widow’s walk
but you’re probably sleeping sound
while i’m mercurial beneath orion
captive, bound, and double-ironed tears in rain
i’m wreathed in chains, a barrow-wight of burial mounds
(but it’s not that profound)
so i’ll give up haunting the library, lumber home moody
hear rumbling snow plows, hum death cab for cutie
scr-pe spark-shower padlocks to tumbledown washburn
at 4 in the morning alone

and i know i can’t ghostwrite your timbre
but i’d hate to see you corrade your september self
it’s no one’s fault i’m bitter, just rocket science crucified my mental health

(“what happened up there johnny?”)

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