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letra de fah mah than y'all - sherman lurch

[intro: farmer shermz]
god d-mnit!
who’s disturbing my chickens in their coop?

[verse 1: dat mango]
my chicken don’t talk
it doesn’t even squawk
it runs around town with its head cut off
my ox buys stocks and it
flies around the world to give peace talks
excuse me ma’am, but you dropped your chalk
my farm is up there on the hilltop
when my horse walks around, it goes clip-clop
i got pigs in the back and they dance in slop
my daddy said “boy, this beat better drop.”
sorry dad, but that b-ss can’t stop
there’s hay on the floor, go and get that mop
then i come back in 10 just to check up
socks, and clocks, amok
how did this homestead get unlocked?
i wish they would’ve just knocked
a flood coming in and the roads are blocked

[dialogue 1: farmer shermz]
godd-mn kids messing up my chicken coop
godd-mn rabbits messing up my crops
eh, i swear, one of these days, i’ma take ’em
and i’m gonna rip ’em all apart
gah!

[verse 2: dat mango]
i got a cornfield in my backyard
eating my veggies is not very hard
got a little bit of kale, little bit of swiss chard
chef it up in a sk!llet with a spoonful of lard
it’s never to early to get my start
doesn’t even matter if the sky is still dark
i’ll take a few minutes and stare at the stars
think about just how young we really are
now i’m in a car
driving down the road, going to the market
arrive with my car on the scene, then i park it
next to the acorn squash, that’s my target
while i’m there i spot a pig from my farm
at the butchers booth, ’bout to undergo harm
blade in his hand, the butcher raises his arm
squeals fill the air as i hop in my car

[dialogue 2: mrs. shermz and farmer shermz]
“sherman? sherman, dear?
sherman, will you go into town and fetch me a few things?”

“godd-mn it. alright. i guess i’ll go in.”

[verse 3: farmer shermz]
e – i – e – i – e – i – o
up before the sun does show
grab my eggs, eat them to go
chased with milk from udders below
my ho’s badder than your ho
mine’s a tool, you don’t even know
milk farmer got beef on the low
so i turned him into a scarecrow
you should see my empire grow
i’m talking ’bout cornfields, bro
my chickens are quick, my cows are slow
doesn’t matter man, they’re on death row
i can’t herd sheep and it blows
my collie chased after a doe
been corn-fed since i was four
hop on my tractor and just roooooooooll

- sherman lurch

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