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letra de the cycle of misery - sea of deprivation

are you okay?
nah man, i’m pretty f-cking far from okay

i feel that i’ve hit bottom
come to crossroads in my life
the left side is existence
the right side’s where i die

as i grapple with this lunacy
i relish with delight
the power, i possess
to, revoke, this shattered life

another sleepless night, in this forced sodomy we call life
but an apple as red as blood. until i take a bite!
the bitterness overwhelms my palate. i have been deceived!?
the dreams that now escape me. are forever out of reach

bells of agony are appealing
with disharmonious bliss
my mind – void of feeling
my coil – spiritless

torment myself
..disenchantment, that i feel
this bed i’ve made
is draining the life from me
i’ve sent up every red flag
exhausted every warning
meticulous in my wake
surpassed my state of mourning
to carry all this weight
i have grown too weak
drowning in a sea
of my own anxiety..

as i view the tool i’ve, chosen for death
i reach for its poison. exhale a deep breath
cylinders of hatred to tear through my skull
golden they glow. wicked and small
pills made of lead. my only friends
grant me the gift. quick, painless end
each one is grinning and begging of me
to be the one to become part of me
the frigid steel. cold on my flesh
i chamber a round. settle my hands
this demon of death, lies idle and waits
to set free its hammer. unleash its rage

i now sit here all alone
save my new found friends
perched on the edge of my bed
with the barrel, against my head
with just one twitch of my finger
the torment, will come to an end
the one thing i hadn’t counted on
were the thoughts of family and friends
despite…
all of my problems. there are those, for whom i care
to them it would make a difference, if i wasn’t there

so i’ve clawed my way. through another day
but i know tomorrow will be worse than yesterday
this temporary solution. won’t make this go away
with my head in my hands. the cycle starts again

- sea of deprivation

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