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letra de cope - saving face

it′s the falling in dreams of losing all my t–th
as i’m so scared when i wake
i feel my face to see if my gums are bleeding
i′m fatigued but can’t find sleep
i’m scared that i won′t wake

anxiety is k!lling me
why can′t i wake up?

anxiety is k!lling me
tearing through my safety and cutting through my skin
i’m scared of failing self professed pathway to defeat
therapy doesn’t end my suffering

i can tell that the way things are
reflects the state of my life′s balance
as the weight of the last decade pulls me deep into this holе
the silence of my unconsciousnеss wraps around me like a blanket
suffocating all that i have left

i’m never gonna define waste
so i′ll make the best of my disease
finding purpose in my grief
turning trauma into my dreams
how 4 years turned my tears into resilience
it hurt as i wept, seeking refuge in my head
my therapist agreed that i wasn’t passed healing
she said you have complex ptsd
i made the choice to avoid dedication of myself to misery
i′m so grateful that it saved me, as i felt the reckoning
change is beckoning

walk with me, shed blame
hold my hands, feel my veins
our heart beats and bleed the same
pushing pain through arteries

it’s the falling between what’s expected of me
and the seams of what it means to be happy
(i didn′t ask for this)
(i didn′t ask for this)

i’ve suffered consequences
i will never cease in my pursuit of vindication
catharsis is a heartbeat

catharsis for me is a heartbeat
endeavour to live again
and i′ll strive for validation of my personality
endeavour to live again

i searched for purpose, instead found myself
i’m learning to value these moments in h-ll
for trials shape greatness and make a better man
i′ll spend all of my days left proving that i am

- saving face

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