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letra de 2025 but it rhymes - sans beanstalk

oi, the year got started
luke added some garlic
and it’s bradford city of culture
some of my favourite artists
and that new king charles pic
came just how he asked it
i heard way too much every single month
’bout blue getting clarted
eowyn chat too much breeze
smacked on the head by a trampoline
sainsbury’s pizza, rip
sadiq is a swifty, can’t buy beans
traitors, this guy copped some haters
egypt property, stacks and papers
tates get free, come looking like taters
dry jan’s over, back to looking like chasers

it’s feb
this month’s dead
we had a pig on gmb
and the tv fees increase
so please go put one of these in your screen
decreasing bees and beans and cheese
we seemed at peace, but no i’m pleased
congratulations to mummy pig though
but this would’ve been easier if someone had died
march
kebab pies
big dan burn made scousers cry
whole of the toon gacked up on carabao
how about choc from dubai on the side
oi, good news
everything’s sorted
new show on netflix, really important
show it in schools
yeah, that’ll sort it
i guess the mps must not have caught it

q2
oi l!ck him up harder
picking up father, from a crowne plaza
scream at raja, mean to starmer
dash to the barber, cash no card
spoon for a starter, spoons for a lager
skived off work and it’s going to get harder
boss man called said where have you been
none of your business, off to ramada
gonna to be a theme park right by luton
me and all of my mates are buzzin’
going to have an asda with loads of vapes in
heard it’s better than leighton buzzard
may
new pope, white smoke
white blokes for anyone else
my vote, bye woke
i don’t, really know what that means
but starmer’s an [?] , pep is a fraud
harry wants dad back, can’t take calls
the doctor’s swapped his dress for breast
big month for the right but we can’t take scores
gary is over, wayne got sober
kelly is a bird but they still chose her
tommy got trim, reform got in
but this island can’t get much woker

june
we’ve cooked up a plan
300th time to look for mccann
didn’t find her, can it get worse
this truth hurts but yes it can
vapes got banned, trains got canned
heading outside, get pink in the am
sweating our tits off, getting off tik tok
even outside jet2 gets sang
oh man
oi, lots of labubus
bob got lots of the bots saying boohoo
kier saw wotsits’ dust on his two shoes
we’re best mates with the states, who knew
it’s july and opinions tanking
kids can vote and he’s just binned w-nking
four more years, i’m sure they’ll thank him
vpn’s been getting a spanking
30 degree, dad’s in a parker
tear up wembley, like prime barce
smith’s been hit by a permanent marker
tg jones sounds so much smarter
oi, chloe has lost her top
oi, greggy has lost his trousers
you can’t be a gimpy panther
prove them wrong mate, f-ck those doubters

august
it’s time for a pit stop
good time to invest in wickes stock
p-ssed off, is it england, it’s not
paint denmark outside a chip shop
rylan copped himself a new shirt
violence, tommy stopped a geezer
rip to purple aki
yeah, you’d have loved the bloke in biza

september, i remember you
yeah, that’s right, we were in the queue
9 million of us 9 months later
storm in london still in blue
they got rid of who?
the bosch wars over, john’s alive
and tom got no voters
zack good crack
top motor boater
on my birthday, i was so hung over

october, ollie dropped bonkers
and bonnie won’t bonk ’em
now look at these plonkers
old andy’s lost his sponsors

and um, november, i suppose
to be totally honest with you
continued in that vein
not really things that are best discussed in the medium of rhyme really, um, but you know
elsewhere, uh, m&s released a very expensive beef wellington
and people seem to really enjoy discussing that on the internet
so, check that out

december, wrap it up quickly
never gave a f-ck about f1 or strictly
ai slops on top, mate miss me
25 sh-t but what will 26 be
maybe about the same amount of foxes
hopefully way, way, way less nonces
this christmas i got what i wanted
now i’m going to go cause the darts is on

- sans beanstalk

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