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letra de f**k the audience - sam and bill

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[spoken intro]
uhh yeah, so normally this is the part when we would say how, uh-
attractive the audience is- but we actually mean it this time
yeah. this time, we really mean it
you guys are f-cking gorgeous, i’m rock hard. really
little inappropriate to say but i’ll go with you there- i also got a b-n-r
yeah, bill’s- bill’s boned up. he’s boned up, fully turgent everybody

one of the things we do, is uh…
if you get a b-n-r on stage- by the way, this is just good advice, right?
you bend it down. okay? you bend it down, and then up your back like a scorpion
it folds right in there yeah, that’s the way to do it

but y’know what, sam? we should work through these feelings that we have for our audience today. in the form of song, perhaps
i do too

prepare for your seduction

[verse 1]
d-mn audience, you’re so fine
gonna make a brother lose his mind
never dreamed that i would find an audience as hot as you

sh-t, audience, you got it goin’ on (what?)
i’m gonna take you home to meet my mom (what?)
she’s gonna ask, how i’m gonna love you all
and i’m gonna say, one at a time

[pre-chorus]
love each and everyone one of you, i’m being sincere
my body gets the message and it’s loud and clear

[chorus]
we’re gonna f-ck the audience
we’re gonna make all our dreams c-m twice
have a ménage à audience
you bring the sugar, i’ll bring the spice

we’re gonna f-ck you, and you, and you, and especially you

that guy just has to watch
you gotta watch
put your d-ck away
please, this is a professional engagement
god

[verse 2]
first we’re going to remove our socks
then we’re going to unsheathe our c-cks (h-llo)
then we’re going to give you a sec to admire their shape and size

after you are done admiring our c-cks (what?)
we’re gonna stack you up like tetris blocks
four rows deep, and we’re gonna be the long block

the long block

and just like the avengers, everybody’s on our team
you can call me bruce banner, cause my d-ck is big and green

[spoken interlude]
what?
you have a green d-ck, dude?
no, no one has ever had… green d-ck
my doctor is mistified
yeah…
but you know what they say ladies?
once you go green, you get a disease from me, i don’t know what that is
please, just be safe with sam, everyone. just wrap it up

[closing chorus]
i think we lost the audience
this song was a really bad plan
we apologise, audience (our bad, seriously)
sincerely bill and sam

sorry

- sam and bill

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