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letra de honesty (epilogue) - ryan hall

i’m honest
honest now more than ever, finding comfort in uncertainty
i tore you, please, don’t cry, wipe that tear from your eye
i lied to you
but not because i wanted to
because i let these thoughts and dispositions get in the way
of what i wanted to call

but it isn’t, is it?
it’s a fragment of our fantastical imagination
our failed escape from d-mnation
and these demons in the back of my head slowly crawled their way forward and poked, stabbed at my eyes
but strong as my fears were i didn’t shed one tear

i’ve started to realize that my dog can feel my hand on his coat when i pet him
and i’ve thought, how do dogs cry?
i’ve never seen him cry, i wouldn’t know
but i feel like he gets sad when i’m not around for a long time
i pray he never understands the things i do
so he doesn’t tangle his mind around the constructs of human emotion
how thinking too much about what’s coming next can make everything
in the moment worse

so i pledge, shed no light into the future
and shed no tears any sooner

- ryan hall

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