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letra de the worst kind of people - rob j madin

i see you putting on your short shorts. you never even used to like sports
i only ever saw you break a sweat that time you tried to give up cigarettes
but now you’re putting on them short shorts. doing obscene stretches on your front porch
hand down your back, grabbing the inner mesh that’s worked its way into your b-ttock cleft

i miss the days when we could have a conversation without you banging on about ‘foot pr-nation’
i miss the days when we could have fun without you f-cking off to do a park run

and now you’re telling me you’re training for a marathon
why would anybody want to do a marathon?
you say “no real reason, thought it might be fun”
in what world would it be fun to do a marathon?
i don’t think you should be training for a marathon
because the type of people who do marathons

are just the worst kind of people
they’re just the worst kind of people you could ever conceive of
you need to sort all your priorities out, ‘cause life’s too short to waste it running about
and you don’t even have children
i could understand if you had kids and just needed a break
but your tv’s ten times the size of mine, and there’s 10 seasons of frasier up on amazon prime
so just tell me exactly what it is you’re running from

well all you eat is just protein. you’re obsessed with protein. why don’t you just marry protein?
surely just one fun-size mars bar won’t affect your stupid hard calves

i’m sick of seeing your sweaty face all over social media
posting your average speed. when did you get so tedious?
why do i need to know about your ‘fastest split’?
i don’t even know what that is

don’t wanna hear about your p.b
don’t wanna know you just nipped out for a quick 10k in your lunch break
‘cause if you don’t just use your lunch break for eating, then we’re really very different people

you’re the worst kind of person
you’re just the worst kind of person that i’ve ever known
‘cause you make me feel so bad about myself, ‘cause i don’t do anything that’s good for my health
and i know i’ll probably die young
and you’ll live forever with the guys from your running team
and even when the world has ended, when the earth’s just dust and dying embers
when the oceans have long since turned to lava, you’ll still be posting stuff on strava
i just think thank god we’ll all be dead

- rob j madin

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