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letra de roasted - reyes celaya

verse 1
my name is reyes and i hope i don’t sound too heinous when i say this damien but that was a weak -ss diss
no one’s ever called me out so i’m curious if you’re on cannabis ’cause if you think you’re gonna win this battle, you’re delirious
am i using too many big words?
i’m sorry, ignoramus
at least you know what my name is
it’s funny that you talk about my height
don’t get too close ’cause i just might bite even if it isn’t right
what’s your height going to do in a lyrical fight?
everyone knows i’m disabled but do you really think i want to be labeled?
you know better than to call me crippled or i’ll pop you like a pimple
it’s just that simple
tom riddle fiddling with his name to make “lord voldemort”
rapping until i hurt my vocal cords and my throat is sore
furthermore, if you’re keeping score that’s 5 more points for gryffindor (haha)
you said i smelled like a zoo how elementary of you
don’t you understand that this is what the f-ck i do?
use your brain and stay in your lane boy before you end up getting destroyed
if your friends want to come at me i got something for them too
you must think you’re in school since you’re grading your raps
hope you know when you’re talking n-body gives a cr-p
sanity is the ability to think and behave in a normal or rational manner so your opinion on my rap sk!lls does not matter
don’t you know i consider myself the mexican marshall mathers?
so allow me to deliver your loss on a silver platter
think you’re funny but i’m the one with the knee slappers
generation of the mumble rappers
grown men who sound like they need diapers
i don’t make hits i make bangers
throw up 2 middle fingers to my haterz
nice try trying to diss but i bet you hate yours
say i don’t have fans but that isn’t true
i got more than you
like i said this is what i do so when you make verse 2 have one of your rapper friends help you
write it and practice it before you post it ’cause if it’s not legit i won’t be responding to it
truth be told this battle i think i already done won it

hook
my remix to the abcs
a, b, c, d, e, f, g, somebody shoulda told you not to f-ck with me h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, ’cause now i have to k!ll you lyrically
q, r, s, t, u, v, w, x, y, and z
now that you know not to f-ck with me
next time won’t you sing with me?

verse 2
it’s the second verse so you know it gets worse
i don’t mean to be rude but how dare this no mustache having -ss dude talk sh-t to me
looking like a shaved p-ssy
damien quit playing
i have cerebral palsy so yeah given my situation, of course, i fall 24/7
you’re not worth my time for an explanation
i read the second verse and all you’re doing is b-tchin’
like a female when i call her honey knowing d-mn well i ain’t flirtin’
i see you’re still talkin’ better shut up for somebody puts their c-ck in
it probably wouldn’t matter to you because you like men
that’s probably why you called me a small f-ggot
bro, it’s 2019 come out the closet
i promise you won’t regret it
just don’t be one of those h-m-s-xuals who keep it a secret
i’ve been doing this rapping sh-t for a minute
10 years so allow me to cry crocodile tears
my vocabulary is very high like snoop on new year’s
i ain’t your average savage
dude i don’t mean to be rude but you might as well drop out of this battle like a miscarriage
don’t be mad or i’ll go to the store and pick you up a maxi pad
would it be better if i wrote a letter?
start rapping like a mumble rapper so i can finally get a producer?
saying gucci gang after everythang?
f-ck that, i’d rather be getting a lot of brain from a thot
ain’t never going to change
i bet that went over your head like a roof
you’re looking like a big -ss goof
you probably graduated ’cause you’re hated
how’s it feel to be defeated?
that’s kind of odd ’cause i never referenced myself as the god of rap
take a nap ’cause you’re confusing me with slim shady
wonder what it would sound like if he dissed me
“reyes celaya is a liar he doesn’t spit that fire
motherf-cker should have stayed in choir
if rapping is what he desires i’ll beat him with a handful of pliers while he and christopher reeve are shining my tires”
thanks, marshall
you’ll never smack the grin off my face ’cause i like to get in under people’s skin
you post more pictures on facebook than women
ignorant? thanks for the compliment
i actually think i was heaven sent
the new boyz must be back in work
because he said ” you’re a jerk”
“i got trashy brothers like you to throw out”
look everyone little damia is angry
it must be that time of the month where he bleeds out his coochie
i guess that maxi pad came in handy
told you not to call me out bro
did you listen though?
no
i just made you my b-tch so you’re the one that needs the pity
since you’re a man take this loss with dignity and stop coming after me because this battle is over like 2000 bc
call me john cena ”cause you can’t see me
i feel like i’m leaving a murder scene ’cause i just k!lled you lyrically
you know what i mean?
i feel like my mind just made a masterpiece
rest in peace
i feel like casey anthony ’cause i made it and i k!lled it
now like her imma my conceal it in a shoe box and send it down the river

outro
sorry for all the savagery but i told you not to diss me
maybe next time you’ll listen to me
before i put down this pen i’d like to shoutout some of my fans
to my number one fan christina ybarra
thanks for always supporting me sweetie
jacqueline medina, i love you mija
don’t forget to put b-tter them biscuits
to cosandra majors, the beautiful queen of mind ya bidness, hon, don’t forget to snap them fingas (haha)
marissa morales, i love you to the moon and back but you already know that from that “marissa’s song” track
kortnee gill, you h-lla chill and funny honey
remember the time i thought no one heard me?
these b–tches are crazy (haha)
apparently i need to try out comedy ’cause cor ina thinks i’m funny as h-ll
all i need to do is tell her what makes me angry and she burst out laughing like crazy
it’s all right honey, i live to make people happy
i know y’all love me
i mean what would y’all do without me?

- reyes celaya

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