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letra de an act of kindness - reuben

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i’m trying to make up my mind
madness or cruel-to-be-kind?
your mother was sick or blind
when she gave her child away

but what she did
she did out of love
she must have meant it
as an act of kindness

and having never had a kid myself
i cannot understand the pressures
“…you must be sick in the head
you need a hospital bed” she said
“properly fed” she said
“or you’re going to wind up dead”

so you were put
in the hands of science
strangers who understood
better than mothers could
it was really “for your own good”

see, we find these ways
to justify it all
are they really working?

i’m trying to make up my mind

i’m trying to make up my mind
it gets harder every time
i see a baby mother
or think about growing up and having kids

oh god, she must have done it out of love
i must believe it was an act of kindness
i keep imagining the film ‘girl interrupted’
with less attractive inmates

“all of the things that you feel
they are a f-cking disease” they said
“we diagnose it with ease” they said
“there is no hope of a release” they said

so you found yourself
inside a prison with no escape
tied to a gurney with thick red tape
nursing a wound that is mother-shape

“when can i go back home?
i want to make a f-cking call
all these pills do is make me sleep…”
onetwoonetwoonetwo

you wished you could unmake yourself
become something else
to be something awful
“to be smoke and shadow”

i understand the idea that a.d.d. is an imbalance
‘depression,’ that is an imbalance of chemicals
it makes sense.

but couldn’t you argue that everything is?
joy, fear, anger, sadness?
can you diagnose love?
can you diagnose loss?
see, we find this ways
to justify it all
but is it really working?

- reuben

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