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letra de feel - phoenix james

was beginning to feel cursed
wasted
losing faith in relationships
but then the police can only escort a man away from the home of his children
so many times before he starts to feel that way about sh-t
thinking in my soul i know there has to be much better than this
and sitting in that prison cell long enough can also play mind tricks
i mean, how many times can a man stand a woman disrespecting his mother on her own doorstep
before he flips
or how many times will he refrain from just turning up and breaking the door down when she says
no
you can’t see your kids
disturbing the peace
but where is the peace in keeping a father from his child and a child from its dad
especially when a mother knows that’s something she can’t give
not to mention something she herself may’ve never even had
but too often when a woman feels hurt, when a woman feels scorned
what baby might need and feel ain’t really the real issue at hand
it’s more like what is the best weapon i have to hurt this man
like he hurt me
how dare he leave me
don’t care if he loves his child, he ain’t gonna see this baby
and there’s me
young 23, wild and crazy
dusting off my fatigues and dessert boots from my solo expedition
egyptian sun still in my braids, skin glistenin’, nile water still in my system
4 years down the road, virginia heat can’t compare
and what i’ve been envisioning is clear
as i’m repositioning
sitting in your passenger seat, and sweetness, i don’t think you’re listening
when i say i’m a stranger here
that i have never felt like this
you came out of nowhere
unknowingly restoring my faith in relationships
and i know we’ve both had our fair share of crazy sh-t
that’s how i know exactly how this feels for you
when you say you’re scared of disappointment
but nothing is certain and our tomorrow is not promised
so let’s just share the enjoyment
and to be honest
i’ve been looking forward to today, us being here together again
you are an extraordinary person
i see myself in you, i feel like you understand me
and i want us to be more than friends
and i don’t care if that might sound cliché
but these are some of the things i’ve been only waiting to say
since our date, on the train, on the bus, at the show
how do i explain
to a woman i really barely even know
that i can hear and read her pain
that i’m beginning to believe there’s more to our connection and it’s real
how do i too let go of the fear and the pride, of all the layers and the lies to tell you
this
is how i feel

- phoenix james

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