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letra de ad nauseam - pearlygates by proxy

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i had a dream last night my house went up in flames
no doctor or therapist could help ease my pain
i told myself i had a year to get over it
and now a year later i still persist

beg for forgiveness like theyre even f-cking listening
last snow in my lifetime and it is f-cking glistening
im sure ill regret all of this when i am older
thank god the weathers never getting any colder

late night walk home, pretend death isn’t a mystery
ad nauseam, this ivy house just isn’t meant for me
my feral roots and honest repentance trash what you see
ive tried to change it, it just isnt meant to be

im sick of sickness, sick of plague and change and apathy
id do anything to become anyone else but me
i am a mess of insatiable empathy
and in the end my body doesnt belong to me

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