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letra de have you tried meditation? - pacing

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my phone is glued to my face surgically
and it might be too late for me
i self destruct the second
i have nothing to occupy me
i’m like a kid
i need someone to schedule my activities
n0body wants to play with me
i put bad things in my body
subconsciously
trying to be annoying enough that
you’ll get mad and then i can be all self-righteous about that

ok
i did it

somebody check my homework
somebody validate this
check this off my todo list
wow, clarity!

i might check some emails
i might go for a walk
i might k!ll you if you
look at me
or make that noise
or breath in my vicinity
now we only got one thing to do
sit here just me and you and
stare at each other
may i remind you that i love you?

and it’s too late to go back
there’s too much weird stuff to unpack
i’m too sp-cey to stay mad

so i keep throwing this ball at the wall
and it keeps coming back
but when you think about it what’s so surprising about that
the wall is hard and that hurts my feelings
but if it was soft i’d probably just call it a little b-tch

and that’s why therapists
believe that i am competent
i’m published and i cite myself
oh sorry i was zoning out
i don’t f-ck with sincerity
unless i’m making fun of me
i was reading my own blog instead of listening

somebody peer review this
somebody please edit this
check check check check this out
wow, serenity!
i might get up early
but i might just sit in bed
i might throw up if you keep sending me poetry

f-ck you
don’t tell me what to do
don’t tell me to do what i want
cause i’m already doing that, thank you
sorry
for saying f-ck you

i might burn out on this
i might just sit in silence

- pacing

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