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letra de before the noise my cousin - otis mensah

[verse 1]
i walk the night
just mortified by life
lights might burn my eyes like
we live, we learn, we love, we earn, we yearn
and the tables turn like oh

hasty motives
heavy shoulders
hazy motion
keeling over
daisy days
the nights grow colder
time moves slower
fight emotions
plights & potions
riding novas
comatose when hope erodes
lows and patchwork souls
holes in spirit blows

poems on polaroid pictures
rolling on rivers
the fluctuation, everything it diminishes
highs & lows so еvery constant is frivolous
i’ve been in bondage likе nineveh
i was so close to being finished up
chewed and spat out by the whale and the winter gust
before the noise, it was me and my cousin
play twenty one, sleeping on floors
dreams in the mortar are melded with concrete
imagine touching ceilings
swinging on doors
crooked t–th, stare up and smile at the wind
snuck out church singing raps like they’re hymns
mum said i can’t run away from my sins
pack my bag, rap at school then it’s sunday again
how it goes
i just been lending my soul out to everyone
burry my head in a hole
wasting time simulating a hologram
instead of stomping a ground of my own
i’m the rain that’ll bust up the levee now
trialed and tested, a mountain of growth
forgiving myself when i’ve fallen short
unlearning everything that i know

[chorus]
before the noise it was me and my cousin
a bag full of youth
we were dreaming of buzzing
dry-heave then spit blood up
p-ss time down the gutter
could call you a friend but you’re more like a brother
night terrors of perish
the lunar above us
can’t live my truth hiding under the covers
found home in the music
in love with the thunder
i slide through the show like a knife in the b-tter
but standing for something
you know like
i be on my way up
wake up, lace up
the times are shifting
change up
seasons and ages
don’t tesselate and stay stuck
even the moon in the sky go through phases
yeah

[verse 2]
i’m trying to work from integrity
not for cl!cks like a company selling schemes
take your phone and then dip it in kerosine
your eyes wide like a twerk on the telly screen
i was taught there’s no s-x before marriage and
wearing awkwardness
shame and embarrassment
like elijah a chariot fly me up
compensate with a head full of malice, tough
i said that i’d slip on the bally and
warship like a galleon damaging
embellishing, insecure about everything
up and down in the labyrinth of dizzy thought
trying to prove the scam, i knew it’s derelict
i saw that, that veil was wearing thin
it was toxic and truly irrelevant
detrimental to my growth and embetterment
a u-turn at the road to perdition now
shaking off me a ghostly ambition that
saw me winning but loathing and finicky
coaxing people to call me the king of them
trying to dismantle age-old traditions of
keeping up family addictions but
all of their pain and adversity never limited the love
they were giving

i be on my way up
wake up, lace up
the times are shifting
change up
seasons and ages
don’t tesselate and stay stuck
even the moon in the sky go through phases
yeah

[outro]
and it all happened so fast
at home, holding hands draped in pink
lilac and other variants of joy
together, before we were torn
and taught traditions of the masc

i was never over you
but i became the glacier between us
a cruel fulfilment of past
a termination of volition determination of a path
the tyranny of a judge banging his gavel on the glass
i yearned for clemency not a cast
abandoning membership
with the ancient practice of exposing truth
unlearning their pseudo-fact
the old social anthropology
melting myself down
debunking the myth i was
the act resembled an acer tree
its shadow cushioned my fall
its leaves had veins like i do
its solace spoke with tact
a truth that passed through the grapevine
the voice that brought me back

- otis mensah

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