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letra de calm - original cast of ordinary days

[deb]
so
i am on the 6 train heading uptown to my lit. professors office
it’s like light years off of campus
don’t ask me why
i’m sandwiched in-between this guy who’s literally drooling
and some european hipster who, well let’s be honest, smells

woody allen heard gershwin in the air when he thought “manhattan”
well i’m not so impressed, i hear like philip gl-ss at best
i wish i could take a second to get
calm
but it’s not working

’cause like clearly i’m a magnet for a special breed of psycho
who think being weird’s a valuable use of time
and my notebook likes to wander on its own across the city
taking with it my whole thesis, which i need to write, like, now

i don’t remember the muppets getting hives when they took manhattan
but my own diagnosis is i’m creeping toward psychosis
’cause i cannot find a place to get
calm

it’s really hard, you know
i tried to take up yoga, but
you’d be surprised how many folks don’t think deodorant is zen
i even saw a life coach who told me
i should breathe, just breathe
but every time i took in a breath
i visualized that life coach’s death
she’s having brunch at café pierre
and she’s choking and choking and choking and choking till finally she’s
calm

i’m sorry. anyway
i get to my professor’s
and he sits me down and tells me
that my thesis on virginia woolf feels somehow false
i tell him what i’m working from is not so much a thesis
as the fact that she went crazy and that seemed, well, apropos
my professor just tosses back his head
and a dry manhattan
i’m wondering which will him quicker
the big apple or the liquor
when suddenly i panic
and i tell myself i must get someplace
calm

i up and run toward penn station like i swear my head was ready to blow
and i hop a train to jersey
just as fast as any person can go
then 90 minutes out i get off
at some prudential hamlet i’ve never heard of

there’s a real state office right on the block
i can afford a two bedroom
i go into shock
i think, “what the heck?”
i write a check
cause there’s sunlight, and closets, and laundry
but mostly it’s calm
calm
calm
calm

calm
really calm
strangely calm
like, time square at 5 a.m. calm
like, totally freak me out calm
like, i’m gonna slowly go crazy and throw myself off of the balcony calm

d-mn it

so
i tear up my deposit
and i head back to penn station
of course, the subway’s broken
so i walk four miles home
and like 14 hours later
i get back to my apartment
with my crazy spastic roommates
and a room, well, of my own

i’ve got this black and white poster on my wall
that says “my manhattan”
and i give it the finger
but i let my gaze linger
and i notice how the people look like tiny specks of gray
all haphazardly arranged just like they were in that monet
and suddenly i’m struck by this bizzaro revelation
that, like, warren’s whacked-out theory might deserve some exploration

i sit on my bed
and i realize i’m finally
calm

- original cast of ordinary days

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