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letra de blessings - og mally mal

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gun to my head, i had to the count of ten
was finally finna die so i just called it a win

dumped and forgotten without no hesitation,still got for love them people never made that revelation

pain and frustration behind the henny and blunts
i’m just hoping i die within these next couple months

unfair life choices ,made it out got rolls royce’s
keep all them things just wanna kno wtf real happiness means

just spitting to spit not even tryna get famous
black and depressed but they’d say i’m woke and too dangerous

thе chase of the wealth is just to mеntally chain us , stuck in a country that utterly needs us and hates us

as well as the discretion of living with my depression, parents just called me lazy i almost failed to mention

just branded me lazy and had no type of retention followed up with detention just school’s way of a child’s mental lynching

can’t even ask my pops n-gga was never there, a world full of extinguishers and he was smokey the bear

i’m basically just a sign keep out n-gga, beware
gone before my first breath of fresh air

always tell me but look at the man you are today, crippling depression with a trigger finger to keep my inevitable death at bay
i’m too goofy
always keep my n-ggas laughing and smiling so they can never know my pain the never ending feeling of dying

feel like a world wrestling pay per view
no way out
look in my brain for dopamine but just discovered a 20 year drought

suicide is the only answer
i often contemplate it
intensely meditate on it
given i’m more advanced in it
started to say f-ck all this extra sh-t
blow my own head off k!ll the trouble of it

keep telling n-ggas ,existence is pain
the drugs, s-x addiction and that’s just a specific lane, anxiety, low self esteem, add or adhd it confuses tf outa me, bad habits of day dreams

i’m just tryna die , to not feel the need to cry or say my last shalom or goodbye, but i’m thirsty, i’ll take a bleach and cyanid

then spoke to the folks bout my crippling depression n-ggas called it syfy ,i’m not even surprised
sh-t just don’t exist like the mental hogties around my wrists, forgot my birthday and said f-ck christmas, then get called antisocial and throw a b-tch fit

just a prime example of a mechanism that’s unhealthy used to sooth and to cope, a literal cry for help everytime i cook dope or call myself the pope

- og mally mal

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