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letra de top gear vs. eddsworld - nervous ari

[announcer: ari]
h-llo everybody, and welcome to what will hopefully be the very first of a long series!
this is ari’s mad rap battles, thank you for tuning in
in the red corner, we have jeremy clarkson, richard hammond, and james may representing top gear!
and in the blue corner, we have edd, tom, and matt representing eddsworld!
begin!

[verse 1: clarkson, hammond, may]
tonight, three dweebs challenge us to a fight
richard wears a beanie
and i rock the mic
we petrol heads arе locked in real tight
our grimy rhyming is quite sublimе
we’ll run you down with the power of a lamborghini
drive this cola drinking fiend back to twenty-sixteen
this purple c-ck is so dumb it hurts
and when we’re done, he’ll need a ride in my ambulance-he-rs-
tom, you’re disgusting
with your heavy drinking and that guitar you’re f-cking
you can’t go one minute without sucking something
didn’t he try to k!ll santa claus?
multiple times
so let’s show these b-ll-nds what it means to bust a rhyme
when you’re against us on the mic, you’re not gonna get far
and we’ll leave you seeing stars in our reasonably priced car
[verse 2: edd, tom, matt]
that verse was a real slog, wasn’t it?
indubitably
now let’s show them who’s the real english trio of tomfoolery
clarkson, you reminded me of tord in all the worst ways
when i heard about you punching a producer right in the face
your chin reminds me of matt if he were fat and ugly
your head’s the same shape as your leaning citroen, roughly
you talk about leaving us behind
but your show ended a year before mine
and between our reboots, i know which is more fun
no one watches new top gear, only the old stuff
the ape, the hamster, and captain slow
you lot could get out-flowed by ten-year-olds
and when we’re through, you’ll be totaled like the rimac d-ck drove
and you’ll be stuck at number 2 like your name’s eduardo

[verse 3: clarkson, hammond, may, ari]
that verse was worse than top gear usa
your crew’s bad news like a dacia delay
anyway, we’re gonna make you all pay
you’re blithering idiots, kinda like may (hey!)
you’re a web cartoon, we’re international television
you remind me of geoff, a big box with no engine in it
your show’s unfunny, it’s always been
on my fandom list, they’re number one, you’re off the top ten
matt, your big ego reminds me of someone
i think his name was clarkson, or maybe it was narcissus
new top gear’s the bbc’s show, not ours
our reboot was the grand tour, and people loved that one
tom, who’d you say your parents were again?
a pineapple and bowling ball, how does that happen?
to finish off this verse, let’s look at the scoreboard
we’ve got three hundred, you, minus eighty-four
[verse 4: edd, tom, tord]
out the gate, i’ve got some corrections to make
i am not f-cking susan, and she’s a d-mn bass
with that out of the way, i’d like to introduce an old mate of mine
tord, come in here and rhyme
i think i’ll tackle you each one by one
starting with clarkson and his license plate number
you said it’s a coincidence, but i don’t buy it for a second
given your reputation for being purposely offensive
as for you, mr. may
tom, have you tried his gin?
yes
how would you describe it?
lame
hammond, how many millions have you caused in damages?
with all the cars that you’ve totaled, they should call you d-ck slammond
i liked chris harris’s version more anyway
you three are a bit too immature for my taste

[verse 5: clarkson, the stig]
now let’s hand it over to our tame racing driver
some say that he has superheated saliva
and that he knows absolutely nothing about pigs
all we know is, he’s called the stig
[silence]
and on that bombsh-ll, it’s time to end
[announcer: ari]
who won?
you decide!
and i pick who’s next, hahaha!
this has been ari’s mad rap battles, thank you all for listening, and have a great night!

- nervous ari

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