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letra de montage, part 2: nothing - natalie cortez

so excited
because i’m gonna go to the high school of performing arts
i mean, i was dying to be a serious actress
anyway, it’s the first day of acting cl-ss
and we’re in the auditorium, and the teacher
mr. karp, puts us up on the stage with our legs around everybody
one in back of the other. and he says
“okay, we’re gonna do improvisations
now, you’re on a bob sled
and it’s snowing out and it’s cold
okay, go!”

ev’ry day for a week we would try to feel the motion
feel the motion down the hill
ev’ry day for a week we would try to hear the wind rush
hear the wind rush, feel the chill

and i dug right down to the bottom
of my soul to see what i had inside
yes, i dug right down to the bottom
of my soul and i tried, i tried

everyone is going “woosh i feel the snow
i feel the cold i feel the air.”
and mr. karp turns to me and says
“okay, morales, what did you feel ”

and i said, “nothing, i’m feeling nothing,”
and he says, “nothing could get a girl transferred!”
they all felt something, but i felt nothing
except the feeling that this bullsh-t was absurd!

but i said to myself
“hey!, it’s only the first week. maybe it’s genetic
they don’t have bob sleds in san juan.”

second week, more advanced
and we had to be a table, be a sports car ice cream cone
mr. karp, he would say
“very good, except morales
try, morales, all alone.”

so i dug right down to the bottom
of my soul to see how an ice cream felt
yes, i dug right down to the bottom
of my soul and i tried to melt
the kids yelled, “nothing!”
they called me “nothing!”
and karp allowed it, which really makes me burn
they were so helpful
they called me hopeless
until i really didn’t know where else to turn!

and karp kept saying
“morales, i think you should transfer to girls’ high
you’ll never be an actress. never! jesus christ!

went to church praying
“santa maria, send me guidance, send me guidance.”
on my knees
went to church praying
“santa maria, help me feel it
help me feel it. pretty please.”

and a voice from down at the bottom
of my soul cam up to the top of my head
and the voice from down at the bottom of my soul
here is what it said

“this man is nothing!
this course is nothing!
if you want something, go find a better cl-ss
and when you find one, you’ll be an actress.”
and i -ssure you that’s what fin’lly came to p-ss

six months later i heard that karp had died
so i dug right down to the bottom of my soul and cried
’cause i felt nothing

i didn’t want him to die or anything, but

- natalie cortez

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