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letra de i'm sorry everybody - molly rice

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this one’s for jane

when they adopted me
they changed my name
from honora
honora to jane
do you think something was lost when i became jane?
because i know i’m not the same
as you–i’m not the same

my father was a tailor who went insane
my father was a tailor who went insane
i was drawn to nursing like a moth to a flame
the grim hand clutching my starched arm
the spasm dissolving into stillness

i am the shield-maiden wielding the flame
i am the shield-maiden wielding the flame

those that i liked i would nudge out to sea, just to see
but bring back before dark
they loved me more for it
what is more delicious than “almost”?
those that i hated i sent to the deep
those that i hated i sent to the deep
the blacks of their eyes like the black of the deep
ebbing and flowing, the black of the deep–

i’m sorry everybody
i’m sorry i can’t feel it
i’m sorry everybody
i’m sorry i can’t feel it

first with the atrophine, then with the morphine
ebb and flow, large and small
their pupils grow so large and shrink so small–
ebb and flow, large and small
i climb into bed and hold you, mesmerized mesmerized
i don’t know why but i can’t take my eyes
off your eyes off your eyes
something cosmic and eternal, like planets or stars
ebb and flow, large and small
i’m sorry everybody
i’m sorry i can’t feel it
i’m sorry everybody
i’m sorry i can’t feel it

was there ever anyone who wanted you to love them
in a way that you could not
in a way you did not feel
who asked for too much
–there was, wasn’t there?
and you had to say:

i’m sorry
i’m sorry i can’t feel it
i’m sorry
i’m sorry i can’t feel it

i’m sorry
i’m sorry i can’t feel it
i’m sorry
i’m sorry i can’t feel it

“when i try to picture it, i say to myself, i have poisoned minnie camps, my dear friend. i have poisoned mrs. gordon. i have poisoned mr. and mrs. davis. this does not convey anything to me and when i try to sense the condition of the children and all the consequences, i cannot realize what an awful thing it is. why don’t i feel sorry and grieve over it? i cannot make sense of it at all.”

i’m sorry minnie camps
i’m sorry mrs. gordon
i’m sorry mr. and mrs. davis
i’m sorry my sister
i’m sorry i can’t feel it
i’m sorry prosecutors!
i’m sorry i don’t feel it
i’’m sorry judge and jury!
i’m sorry i don’t feel it

i’m sorry to my jailers!
i’m sorry i don’t feel it
i’m sorry everybody!
i’m sorry i don’t feel it

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