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letra de thisistheworstsongi'veevermadeandit'saboutastrology - minivan helsing

eyy
what the f-ck
[some kind of creepy child laughing. that’s the producer tag i think]
i’ve finally graduated into making music that isn’t only objectively bad, but doesn’t even sound f-cking good
(ey good for you buddy hahahahaha)
eyy
i’m not like other girls
i’m a guy
(aw)
what the f-ck
(that’s f-cking cute)
ey
(uwu)
do as much astrology as you f-cking want who gives a f-ck
i mean it’s stars
it’s more real than god
(ahh)
imma see the moon and sh-t before i’m gone
(yuhh)
point out religion if someone’s getting all snide
at least (i will seduce the pope) f-cking astrology never caused a f-cking genocide
(b-tch)

get over here i’m tryna do unethical medical experiments
(snip snip snip ahah)
your skin’s so soft
i got a special knife for piercing it
oh that’s a nice picture it’s going on my dartboard
i’m running from my feelings and they’ve got me doing parkour
it’s hardcore
like doctor phil i’m making f-ckers fight
and that’s a thumbs down
so you gotta end his life
and that’s on f-cking sight
(b-tch)
i curse a lot when i play games and rap
and then act like a chap
straight outta the sand trap
[unintelligible british]
imma hit a f-cking b-st-rd with a nine iron
now he’s in the drier
i lit a match wrong and now my nose hair’s on fire
i’m not a liar
[screaming]
holy sh-t my sense of smell is in pain
[screaming]
this is actually the worst f-cking song i’ve ever made
and it’s about astrology
i’m a libra what the f-ck does that mean
(what is it. what does it- what does this mean?)
is it like a book cuz that’s what the spanish would imply to me
like blimey
(whaa)
when i was young i wanted to mummify my family hamster
i feel like that prolly should’ve been some kind of red flag
(i need therapyyy)
come and k!ll me that’s just one more dead f-g
and that’s more or less legal in several countries
i’m constantly feeling jet lagged
put your f-cking head back
choke on your own t–th
you want beef
i want your neck cracked

i’m not f-cking h0m-phobic i wanna kiss dudes
and girls too
(just to- just to be f-cking clear)
and any number of gradations between those
i’ll stomp your f-cking head
i mean it’s f-cking lights out
i’ll make you doze
it might be over for you but who knows
i be in my bas-m-nt
i’m going apesh-t
i’m crazy f-cked up
off paint fumes
we’ve been remodeling
(like all the time)
i lit the main fuse
choke me like you
f-ck. no. what the f-ck. no. that’s definitely not my song
(corpse is a s-xy motherf-cker)

catch me in the sticks
with the motherf-cking sticks
i’ll hit you with my tractor
i’m not mister nice guy
i’ll k!ll you and eat you
y’all chickens like a pot pie
i got twelve guns
one for each person in my town
(ain’t that the truth)
riding in my tractor only way i get around
(bless his heart)
okay what the f-ck was that bruh

we’re going hick hop
your shawty makes my d-ck hop
your best friend makes my f-cking
okay
no
f-ck
okay i swear to god we’re not doing d-ck talk i swear to god
(i swore an oath, once on a time)
atheists be like ‘i swear to science’
(ey i’m just talking for my f-cking adlibs)
why do jocky straight dudes act like they’re g-y for each other
like how did that ever f-cking catch on
(eyy)
maybe i’m just mad they’re not acting like they’re g-y for me
(probably. that’s probably what it f-cking is)
hahah
eyy
yuh
alright we’re doing a freestyle for however much left there is
oh there’s not any left
well that’s f-cking good cuz i can’t freestyle for f-cking shi-

- minivan helsing

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