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letra de there goes the neighborhood - micah bournes

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“would you like some more water?”

“naw, i’m good.”

“that’s not what your parole
officer said
did you register when you moved into
the neighborhood?”

i couldn’t decide if he was a cold
racist asking a racist question
or a friendly racist telling a racist
joke

either way, i was not amused
but i laughed

as the awkward chuckle p-ssed through
my lips
it tasted like the eucharist
like blood in my mouth
my stomach churned as i imagined it
would if i ate human flesh

i felt like judas and christ
betraying myself then hanging in
silence as i’m crucified

i wanted to prove him wrong

i wanted to stand up and list off
my
credentials in words with more
syllables than his
simple mind could take

i wanted to prove him right

i wanted to stand up and fire off
hyphenated profanities
inventing new conjugations
for four letter words like
the dumbest n-gga he done eva heard

i wanted to prove him wrong

i wanted to leave and come back with
the black elite. a fleet of the
sharpest
darkest intellectuals he’s ever seen
leaving tips large enough to buy out
this
business twice over

i wanted to prove him right

i wanted to leave and come back
with thugs and hoodrats
with chains guns and bats
burn this place to ash

but what did i do?
i laughed

then sat there silently
then ran home and wrote poetry?
then screamed it out like i’m not a
coward?
like i didn’t cry in front of my
computer screen?
like i wasn’t waiting for my two white
friends to speak up for me?
like i stood up for myself?
like i did something?
like i fought a revolution?
like it wasn’t funny?
like i didn’t laugh?

but i did

and it tasted like the eucharist
like blood in my mouth
and i swallowed it

- micah bournes

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