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letra de nostalgia critic's the wall - mc moist

[part i: sped up spoken word from mc moist]
dear doug walker
i met you about three months ago at grand rapids comic con, and i’m sure you don’t remember me because you’re a very cool famous person with so many faces to remember. i’m sure you’ll never see this, maybe you don’t even have access to this account, i don’t know. whatever the case, i want to formally address you. i walked up to you and you stuck your hand out for me to shake it and i handed you my ticket for you to sign because of how nervous i was, so maybe that’ll jog your memory. probably not, i don’t know. who wouldn’t be nervous meeting such a cool amazing famous person who is the only person in the world with feelings that truly matter! what i’m about to say aren’t my words, they’re the words of crash thompson, who is 10 times the critic you’ll ever be. he put it better than i possibly could, but i’ll paraphrase a bit. what you are doing with this review, and with this album, is building a wall of hate to try to keep anyone from criticizing you again. you hired a talented person to make instrumentals for you, but with your up-your-own-ass reputation i’m shocked you didn’t expect him to just half-ass it to get it out of the way as soon as possible. (to anyone reading this, check out rob scallon because he’s incredibly talented!) you hired a talent vfx artist to do that whole weird furry section (which i slept through, not even kidding). you dragged your friends along to do it with you too. you even got an actual celebrity and his f-cking son to work with you on this project. but none of that could keep the hate out, could it? it only poured salt on your wounds. this review and the album going with it are proof that you don’t dislike this album because you think it’s bad, you dislike it because it hits too close to home. the review/album have almost nothing to do with the wall, which has flaws that you could’ve critiqued and know how to critique, but you didn’t do that. from the unnecessary “person you hate” segment which is clearly just you throwing a fit about how, “waa waa everyone hates me!” when you’ve done so much sh-t in the past to warrant that hate, to the use of talented people that you dragged in to try and mask how horrendous of a review this is, this review is just you putting yourself up on a pedestal. you’re building your own wall, doug. a wall that’s going to swallow you whole. with every colleague you decide to suddenly stop contact with, with every video that criticizes you for your wrong-doings, everybody in your life and everything good about your life is going to leave you. every critique of you as a person is just another brick in your wall. i’m sure i don’t speak for everyone who was once an avid viewer of your content who is now not, but i’d like to represent everyone who realized how awful of a person you are because of this review. i once admired you, i looked up to you as a genuinely good critic, but this is it. it’s all gone. i know that my loss of viewership means nothing to you, but i am one of many. each and every subscriber you lose is another brick in your wall. each and every person that turns on you is another brick in your wall, and by the end of it, you will have nothing and you will have no one. tl;dr: you’re an assh0l- who only cares about himself. f-ck you, doug. f-ck. you

[part ii: does doug love doug more than kanye loves kanye? (or doug?)]

[verse 1: woug dalker]
i dislike pink floyd’s movie
i’ll make a “review” on it
but i’ll claim it’s a love letter
so that the haters will stop it

[chorus: mc moist, cancer rat, deep voiced nan, synod-ck e & mplusm]
no, dumbass!
you are f-cking dumb
you’re the reason channel awesome loses all of f-cking subs, b-tch
no, stupid!
you can f-ck right off
n0body likes you
f-ck you, you d-ckwad

[two minute interlude: doug walker, who is not featured in the song]
h-llo everybody, i’m the nostalgia critic….
…love letter to the wall….
i have become comfortably dumb….
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…
stamps…. stamps…… stamps…..
i love you doug…. doug…..

[verse 2: woug dalker, mplusm]
you are the dumbass
i will write sm-t
about my female counterpart that doesn’t exist
you cannot stop me or i will fire you (none of us work for you)
shut the f-ck up!!!!

[part iii: titty]

[verse: mc moist]
i like b00b i’m not g-y (table..)
i like tit i’m not g-y (whamen..)
oh no old me is taking over (money..)
(lars ulrich…. lars ulrich.. lars ulrich!)
-awkward silence-

[part iv: i l o v e the whamen!!!]

[verse: mc moist]
i am the best human being
that has ever life
if you dare deny that fact
then you beat your wife (me too!)
i love lars ulrich but he is not a whamen
and i love whamen more (yeah!)
yeah, sicko mode
is like two years old at this point
but i’m still talking about it
n0body f-cking cares
i will never have a voice crack
but the autotune will make it seem like it will
i forgot how to be in sync

[part v: v is for v-g-n-]

[echo-y spoken word from mplusm]
p-ssy……
v-g-n-……
d-ck……
p-ssy…..
feet…..
toes…..
fitter……
happier…..
more… reproductive…..
ass……
d-ck……
b-tt stuff…..
p-ssy…..

[part vi: doug does love doug more than kanye loves kanye! (but not more than kanye loves doug) (also i want a foursome between kanye, kanye, doug and doug to happen)]

[everybody, screaming]
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
thank you!!!

- mc moist

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