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letra de who's the dummy (sitcom trailer) - mayor breslin (obscurest vinyl)

[intro: mayor breslin]
i’m so f-ckin’ mad right now
i’m so p-ssed off, i mean, i gotta read, i gotta read this quick, let’s get it over with
erm—uh, boy, do i have a treat for you tonight!
it is the sneak peek of the brand new christmas episode of who’s the dummy
the show that’s got everyone laughing
if you’re f-ckin’ stupid
chase and gallon, the ventriloquist dummy with more charm than most humans
never fail to deliver big laughs and heartwarming moments
i cannot continue doing this, guys, this is f-ckin’ horrible, just roll it
just play the clip, we gotta keep moving

[who’s the dummy: chase, gallon, tyler and theme song]
who’s the dummy? it’s hard to tell
with laughs and gags

nice of you to show up
i thought you’d be out all night again
yeah, i don’t need the attitude, chasе
you wanna lecture me, finе. get it over with
and—and what’s that on your ear?
it’s a stud earring
who gives a frig?
have you been hanging out with tyler and those dummies again?
save it, chase. tyler and the guys are cool
you think stealing tokens from kids at the arcade is cool?
why do you guys even need so many tokens?
we sell the tokens so we can buy cigarettes from dylan, the guy that works at mystic essentials
these guys don’t care about you, gallon
you are just their puppet
they care more than you do
you think you know me, chase? you think you got me all figured out?
you don’t know a f-ckin’ thing about what it’s like to be me
gallon, of course i do
ah, come on, chase! you know mom and dad never accepted the fact that i’m bi
oh, don’t bring mom and dad into this!
sure, dad had his flaws, but he loved you, gallon
dad was just a wingnut with a major beer problem, yelling about how he’ll disown the dummy
and mom just sat there, crying, because she knew
she knew that dad would blame her for my bis-xualness
oh yeah? you think i had it any easier?
i really do
watching mom and dad fight, dad drink himself stupid while mom’s trying to hold herself together?
stop acting like you were the only one affected by any of this
you know you’re really p-ssing me off
why, because i’m right?
you better back the f-ck off, chase, i’m really not in the mood
is this what you wanna do? you wanna fight on christmas eve?
don’t test me, chase!
i’m done! i’m f-cking done!
whoa! get your hands off me, gallon!
is this what you want?
whoa, break it up, guys
tyler!
i was looking all over for you, g
you ready to go the mall? we’re gonna tip over some mannequins
anything sounds better than staying here for christmas
gallon, don’t go. don’t let these guys drag you down any further
who’s this guy, your dad?
i don’t know, tyler. i’ve never seen this guy in my life
gallon!
this f-cking sucks
come on!
let’s get out of here
merry christmas, gallon!
[announcer]
let’s continue bashing out the bing-bongs!
bulb-tacular moments to never forget forever
wow!

- mayor breslin obscurest vinyl

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