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letra de scribbled words - max precocky

there are times
that i feel like falling into a dark place
and every morning after i wash off the vomit
i put a smiling mask on
a mask that looks a lot like my own face
but doesn’t feel like it
and when asked
by friends, colleagues, family members or even strangers
how am i?
my answer’s always being fine
but deep inside
behind the fake smile
that i wear everyday — i’m weeping

some-days joy fills my heart
like in those moments
when i’m enjoying thе sunshine on the balcony of my flat
with a cup of coffee in my hand
looking down at the busy streets of thе metropolis
people running back and forth
some in a hurry to get somewhere
some just got in line at the police station across the street
who knows what’s their situation
or what’s on their minds
probably got robbed while visiting
probably just at the wrong time or in the wrong place
whilst the locals got used to this sh-t
it’s something normal for this city
and the station is always busy
stolen wallets
stolen phones
stolen bags
stolen bicycles
cars with broken windows
broken minds and fractured souls
all caused by the hands of shattered people
the same way as my phone got stolen
when i just moved here
without knowing of the issues held about the streets
just like we don’t know about the issues of random strangers
standing next to us in the metro
what’s done is done
so let’s not talk to much, about the past
sometimes i wonder
what are they thinking of
and if some feel the same as i do right now
or as i did last night — solo
well, not quite
the wine was my companion for the time being — somber
after a few sips a bit numb
and the loneliness suddenly becomes surrounded by words
words that are found and lost in our thoughts
words that can describe a lot
and sometimes we can’t find the right ones
to describe the least
words are the best friends you can have in times like this
the main purpose or point is
to put them down on a paper or in the mobiles note app
or just memorizing them, obviously if you can
but usually you can’t
cause by the time the sun comes up
the alcohol will wash them all down the drain
and the only thing left will be a blank page
with some cigarette ash on top of the missing words
or those scribbled out
at which you stare and starting over the next day
as the cycle tends to repeat itself
until you’ll be able to find the right words
to ask for help
to apologize
or just a simple thank you, could suffice
for what, i thank you very much for listening

- max precocky

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