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letra de joey always smiled - mark kozelek with petra haden

brett lived in a brick house just south of ours
i don’t remember how we met
but i remember the path that went from my backyard to his backyard
we’d visit each other and then skip the streets
and take the path that went through other people’s yards
through the bristly pine trees

brett played guitar and so did i
but brett was a one-dimensional guitar player who played only one way
he exclusively played barre chords
not by choice but due to his technical limitations
he was obsessed with black sabbath’s first album
could play every song except for tony iommi’s guitar solos

i have a clear memory of watching brett play his guitar
on the yellow chair in my bedroom
i mentioned to him how painful it was for me to watch him play
the reason it was so hard to watch him play guitar
was because he only used his index and middle fingers to play barre chords
to this day he’s the only guy who i’ve seen play
to only use two fingers, besides django on his fretting hand

for anyone listening who doesn’t know what a barre chord is
it is a chord that almost always spans three frets on the guitar
so naturally one would use their index finger
for the fret closest to the head of the guitar
skipping their middle finger, using their third finger
for the fret closest to the body of the guitar
this is the correct position for playing a two-note barre chord
brett had three brothers and was from a very big family
his brother joey had a disability
he had no muscle control and couldn’t develop mentally
could’ve been spina bifida, could’ve been cerebral palsy
but he sat in a high-chair throughout all of my years of knowing brett’s family
joey couldn’t speak, he slobbered and wore a bib, and n0body ever dared made fun of joey

i mean n0body ever saw joey except for the few of us who were invited over
but the brothers all chipped in in feeding him and taking care of him
joey always smiled
even if he was having a fit about something, joey always smiled

the strongest memory i took away from my life and times with the moore family
was how the brothers always took care of joey

one day i was up in brett’s attic bedroom watching him play guitar
and we were smoking weed
i suggested to him that he come observe a guitar lesson of mine
because brett was impressed with my guitar playing technique

i was getting high so much during this time i probably showed up to my guitar lesson stoned
as brett sat and watched, at the end of the lesson i asked my teacher if he had an opening for brett to take lessons
my teacher said: “if you don’t have your sh-t together by next week, brett can have your spot.”
i was embarrassed, it was in that moment that i decided to dig deeper and not show up to my next lesson high on pot
it was in my moment that i decided to ask my teacher more about scales and less about how to play neil young and pink floyd songs
brett was the lazy player, is the best way i can put it
he had no desire to know more than what he already knew
side note though: brett was 3 years older than me
one time we went out to a nightclub with my fake id
and brett and i played pool with some thugs and we easily beat them
and we played them again, and we won again
then brett mouthed off to them

things were heating up and i stepped in
and i told the guys i liked their haircuts and i liked their jackets
and within 20 seconds they lightened up and they laughed
brett was always impressed with that, and he always said “mark, thank you for stopping those guys from kicking my ass”

but back to joey, he died after i left ohio
he didn’t make it past his late teens
and as far as what happened to brett after i left ohio
that story’s already told in my song micheline
and i don’t feel like going into that again right now
but brett and joey still appear in my dreams
brett’s attic bedroom, joey eating gerber’s baby food
us listening to planet caravan and brett’s awkward guitar playing style
and joey sitting there in his high-chair and his diapers
and his big bright beautiful smile

- mark kozelek with petra haden

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