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letra de what if - maeve noiré

what if i didn’t have to fake a smile
every time someone asked the same question for the hundredth mile?
“can you hear me?” — like that’s not the first thing people say
“how do you see lips?” — like i learned it in a day
what if i didn’t have to pretend it’s fine
when i miss half the words because their mouth’s not in line?
what if they saw the cracks instead of the mask—
saw how every conversation feels like a test i didn’t ask?

what if i didn’t have to fight to belong
didn’t feel wrong for needing them to repeat so long?
what if silence wasn’t treated like proof
that something in me is broken or uncouth?

what if i didn’t always wonder—
if i’ll ever stop starving for clarity i can’t capture?
for a sp-ce where i don’t have to hide the delay
where i’m not punished for missing what someone didn’t say?
what if i could sleep through the night
without replaying every moment i didn’t hear right?
what if peace didn’t feel so far away—
just quiet that doesn’t hurt at the end of the day?

what if i didn’t have to “play it cool”
when they treat my deafness like some trivia tool?
“you’re just like helen,” they laugh and compare—
as if one historic name defines everything i wear
what if i didn’t have to prove i’m real
didn’t have to justify how i speak or feel?
what if they saw the girl standing right here
not a disability brochure they skim once a year?
what if i didn’t feel guilty for asking twice
didn’t feel judged the moment they roll their eyes?
what if the world didn’t stare like i’m strange—
just let me exist without expecting me to change?

what if i didn’t always wonder—
if i’ll ever stop starving for a voice that doesn’t thunder
“speak up,” “keep up,” “listen harder,” “why?”
as if i choose the way sound passes me by
what if i could sleep through the night
without replaying every mistake they think is my “lack of insight”?
what if peace didn’t feel so far away—
just a world that slows down enough for me someday?

what if they stopped asking the questions with t–th—
“can you even hear me?” said with disbelief
what if they listened instead of scanning for flaws
stopped treating my deafness like it breaks some law?
what if i could show up without feeling wrong
without shrinking myself to make their patience last long?

what if i didn’t always wonder—
if i’ll ever stop craving a world that doesn’t make me suffer
for hearing differently, for asking again
for not catching the words they swallowed at the end?
what if i had a place where i’m not erased
where access isn’t something i have to chase?
what if i could sleep through the night
without tearing myself down for things that aren’t my fight?
what if peace wasn’t something i had to earn—
just a soft place to land, not another lesson to learn?
what if they saw me — really saw me?
not the questions, not the doubt, not who they want me to be
what if i didn’t have to fight so hard…
just to exist
in a world that was never built with me in mind?

- maeve noire

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