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letra de advice from uncle leo - mac infinity

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scene begins with a phone ring. grimey by kymo & mac infinity plays as the ringtone

mac
(just waking up) h-llo?

uncle leo
h-llo?

mac
who is this?

uncle leo
don’t be actin’ all brand new since ya dropped ya little mixtape everything. boy it’s ya uncle leo. who else would it be?

mac
ooh my fault. w-ssup uncle leo. why are you calling so early?

uncle leo
well i tried to call you earlier but you wasn’t answering the phone and everything. besides, you know my -ss don’t be up on you young folks time

mac
well…i’m up now. did you need something?

uncle leo
ooh so now i gotta have a reason to call you? i can’t just check up on my little soft lightskin nephew?

mac
no…i mean, any other time-

uncle leo
(interrupting) this ain’t any other time playboy. this time is special

mac
ight ight ight..so…w-ssup?

uncle leo
i mean i’ve been meaning to ask you this for a long time, ya know. ya done blown up and everything so i was wondering if you could uhh.. ya know…?

mac
ya know… what? what are you trying to get at?

uncle leo
ya know. ya know

mac
what are you tryna get at unc?

uncle leo
c’mon man, lemme hop on a song

mac
umm…i mean…i don’t know unc

uncle leo
da h-ll you mean you don’t know?

mac
i mean…like have you ever even wrote a rap song, let alone record one

uncle leo
what? do you know what they used to call me back in the day?

mac
(sadly) what did they call you unc…

uncle leo
they used to call me frosty baby

mac
why did they call you frosty?

uncle leo
cuz my milkshake brought all the hoes to the yard

mac
but a frosty isn’t technically a-

uncle leo
anyway that’s not the point nephew. just know that i’m connected to where rap matters the most

mac
and where’s that unc?

uncle leo
the streets nephew. something you can’t relate to softie

mac
i mean. you’re not lying. but why would i rap about something i can’t relate to?

uncle leo
cuz that’s something all rappers do

mac
but i’m not even a rapper

uncle leo
(laughing) n-gga? what? you crazy as h-ll

mac
what’s funny unc? i…i…don’t know what’s funny

uncle leo
boy don’t be acting like you didn’t just say you wasn’t a rapper

mac
i mean…i’m not

uncle leo
so what was you doing on your little mixtape. huh?

mac
i was talking in a rhythmic pattern so that people could appeal more to my linguistic comprehension of life

uncle leo
anyways. what you need to do is start rapping about stuff you can’t relate to so you can get more people to like yo music

mac
unc. i thought you were tryna hop on a song, not give me advice about what i should make my music about

uncle leo
boy, i’m tryna do whatever i want

mac
i’m just saying. you woke me up super early on a sat-rday just talk to me. look unc. if you just need to talk to me, just call me and say that. you don’t have to call me and ask me to hop on a song. just say you tryna chop it up

awkward silence

mac (cont’d)
ummm…unc?

uncle leo
(on the toilet) good god almighty

mac
are you on the toilet?

uncle leo
boy what? ain’t n0body…(a huge farting sfx)

mac
what the h-ll was that? it sounded like a whoopie cushion

uncle leo
it’s all good nephew, n0body (pause) else (pause) dies (longer pause) oh my goodness

mac
yeah unc ima just talk to you later

- mac infinity

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