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letra de trailer derailer (e3 wrap up) - lyle mcdouchebag

[spoken]
hey! wait, this isn’t the-
oh jeez! alright, okay i’m here now, i guess
so, on light of recent e3-ery, a bunch of big idiots want to know
what i think of video games that don’t exist yet
because the cgi pretended to be a video game trailer like a an -ssh0l-
and if there’s one thing i’m good at
it’s talking sh-t about stuff i know nothing about
but in my own f-cked-up defense, you didn’t give me anything to start with
so now you’re pretty much free game
b-tch!

[lyle mcdouchebag]
you’ll never make the devil cry if you keep draggin’ [dragon] that -ss
double entendrin’ while i’m pondrin’ how this game will be cr-p
and while it may be true
there’s gameplay cues
these action shots don’t const-tute
a thing that gives me any clue
so just shut your yap

you f-cking hide your sh-tty game like lara croft hides her face
thought i’d -ssume you were original? well that’s not the case
who woulda thunk you’d make a sequel
of a reboot that’s a prequel
to a big established franchise, wow, i’m so blown away

nothin’ new. halo 2? woo-hoo. f-ck you!
hand’s blue? what the h-ll am i even looking at?
running blondie’s now a zombie droppin’ chunkage like salami
wait, am i supposed to be excited for that?
you all know that i’m way biased cuz i look like nathan drake
but a spoiler in a trailer? b-tch gimme a bre- oh
-ss-ssin’s creed has gameplay and that looks pretty great
but you wanna know a secret? it’s all fake

impossibly clinical
maybe i’m cynical
but it seems typical
just like the pinnacle
what? watch dogs. yeah i called that sh-t!
the straight up embellishment
ubisoft relishes
hot dog appendages
alien vestiges
frenchman lies, and you think they’re legit?
(oh, god d-mn it.)

i’m crackin’ down on your hopes and dreams
the bloodborne baby pr’y ain’t half as good as it seems
you got an open world? well i got an open d-ck
cause no one’s been impressed with that since 2006

and if you’re game’s a movie
bring it to me
and i’ll rudely
rhyme this loosely
then excuse me if i call your sh-t f-ckin’ dumb
oh god, now i’ve been going
rappist flowing
way too long and now it’s showing
any more and i’ll start throwing
up

-violently vomits- (oh god…)

oh and also
maybe like xen0blade the chronicles of who f-ckin’ cares… yo

- lyle mcdouchebag

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