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letra de the cycle - live from the royal albert hall - loyle carner

[interlude: loyle carner addressing the crowd and segueing into hgu]
yo, is it cool if i tell you a little story before i play you this next song is that alright?
this the crazy thing for me man my whole family is here tonight, my mum my beautiful mum, make some noise for my mum one time, please

this story man, it’s long to explain, right, um, i have a son a beautiful son right, i found out i was gonna be a father, i was 25, yeah, i was scared you get me? i was petrified, i think, erm and i think many of my friends many of the guys in my generation, we’re all f-cking scared, we’re all dealing with this, generational trauma, this bullsh-t you know thats passеd down from grandfathers grandfathers and all this sh-t right

me and my fathеr, um, he called me erm out of the blue and i was like:
“yo, erm, i’m gonna be a father”
and at first he freaked out he hangs up because he was in tescos at the till or whatever thats the story he tells me erm, and i was like:
“motherf-cker”
and about two weeks later or maybe a week or a day or whatever i can’t remember what it was, but, he called me back and said:
“yo, i’m so happy for you id love to erm spend some time with you, me and my father never spent much time together when we was young, and i was like:
“for sure, what do you wanna do?”
and he said:
“i’d love to teach you to drive”
and so, erm, i was like “ok, yeah, i need to do that”

and so he pulled up into my house in his red vw polo right from ’98 dusty red, and the seatbelt didn’t really cl!ck in a bit and the hand break is kinda fuc- kinda f-cked and, but it was road safe cause he’s not a bad dad you get me

and we spoke in this car and at first these conversations were deep, brooding, heavy red, you get me. and i’m saying things to my dad that no father should ever have to say to his son and my dad saying sh-t to me that no erm, no son should have to say to his father and my father saying sh-t to me that no father should ever have to say to his son you get me

but at some point within these heavy driving lessons you know, i stopped talking and started listening, and when i started listening i started to hear my fathers side of the story, i, i started hearing my father for who he was and see him, truly see him you get me, and 50, 60 years ago you know, as a young black man growing up in, in south london there was no one to offer him the tools to be the father he wanted to be you get me

and i’m very lucky that my mum raised me to be a father to myself to my son and to my father basically you get me?
h-ll yeah h-ll yeah
yaknow ultimately, ultimately, i forgave my father and i dont tell you this to be like yo look at me but really because i, i was so scared when i was younger, i was like you know, i wanted to do something form myself. i was carrying all this weight, all this, this heaviness, and my whole life basically i had this chip on my shoulder and thought if i forgive him then i’m setting him free and i was like that’s cool but what about me? and what i didn’t realise is when i forgave him i set myself free from this bullsh-t from these chains i was holding you know i- we used to talk-

we used to talk so much you know me and my friends when we were chilling at home or we was out playing fifa or whatever we’d always talk about breaking the cycle, how do you break the cycle, right this cycle all the time the same thing
man has a kid — man leaves a kid — kid has a kid
then the kid leaves the kid and it goes round and round like that
basically from my grandfathers grandfather all the way down to me right
and my sons there and he’s looking at me, and i’m so scared all this hate all this pain all this grief that hasn’t been dealt with for generations to generations from ancestor to ancestors flying down through my body right, coursing through my veins and i’m looking at my son and i’m so scared i’m gonna pass it to him and then he looked me and he loved me and instead of passing all that hate down i took that f-cking love and i passed it back upwards to my father and my father passed it back to his father and i went back that way and that’s how we broke the f-cking cycle man!

so yeah, my father is in the house, i love my father with all my heart and this song goes out to him, it goes like this, its called hgu

- loyle carner

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