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letra de and the hot tub was lukewarm - lostboyevsky

[intro: lostboyevsky]
yeah
yeah, it’s-it’s whatever it is, whenever it is, it is whenever it is, it’s whatever, it’s lostboyevsky

[verse 1: lostboyevsky]
foot step, foot step, walk, breathe
foot step, look death, talk, see
sometimes feel people stalk me
when did i become averse to eye contact
awaken
eyes open, early afternoon, memory of dream
in which apocalypse was occurring
blink, blink, forget and check twitter
in a sauna by myself
drops of sweat pooling at my feet
i spit phle-ba-be-ba-ba-
i spit phlegm through the cracks
and continue reading 1q84

[bridge: lostboyevsky]
sitting on the couch, thinking
sitting on the couch, reading twitter
sitting on the couch, reading reddit
sitting on the couch, reading facebook
sitting on the couch, reading kool ad’s parenting column
sitting on the couch, playing online poker
sitting on the couch, missing her
sitting on the couch, missing her
sitting on the couch, missing her
sitting on the couch, missing her
sitting on the couch, missing her
sitting on the couch, missing her, missing her
sitting on the couch, sitting on the couch, missing her
sitting

[verse 2: lostboyevsky]
slicing vegetables, slicing vegetables
slicing carrots, peppers, onions, tomatoes
slicing vegetables, i am calm
concentrate on the task
concentrate, years slip by, i am calm as i’m cutting vegetables
years slip by, living in the thought space
living in the thought space
only alive in the realm of the abstract
barely aware of the concrete
having conversations on autopilot
having conversations while wanting to be on the internet
having conversations about things i don’t want to have conversations about
spending time with friends
partially, to respect an abstract idea that humans should spend time with friends
partially, because i am actually lonely and need camaraderie
partially, to distract myself from missing her, missing her
partially, as a way to p-ss the years
and partially, because i do love them
as a way to p-ss the years
as a way to p-ss the years
one million macbook keystrokes to p-ss the years
one billion macbook keystrokes to p-ss the years

sitting on the couch, missing her
sitting on the couch, missing her
sitting on the couch, missing her
sitting on the couch, missing her
sitting on the couch, missing her
sitting on the couch, missing her, missing her
sitting on the couch, sitting on the couch, missing her
sitting

i brush my teeth and pee at the same time
bristles move across teeth and gums for the 8,000th time
look in the mirror and barely notice myself, older
older
oxygen, oxygen, oxygen
sleep, sleep
sleep
the past is a ghost that infiltrates the present for fun
mind is a broken projector looping, looping the same movie over and over and over
where is she and why did this and how do you live again and where am i going again and look at all of it and i don’t know, i don’t f-cking know, but i miss the warmth so near like sun heating soil, soil was fertile, what we had, and i uprooted or was uprooted or–
exposed, exposed
shattered
unrecognizable
staring through a tunnel into a dream of what once was and cannot be again
the shower made a screeching sound reminiscent of a pterodactyl or an old metal door
the song snatched my soul and wrung it like washcloth
he began to sob, convulse
no choice
tears bursting forth as rain from clouds

[refrain: lostboyevsky]
and the hot tub was lukewarm
and the hot tub was lukewarm
and that f-cking hot tub was lukewarm
and that f-cking hot tub was lukewarm
the hot tub was lukewarm
that hot tub, that hot tub was lukewarm

[outro: lostboyevsky]
i’m supposed to resign myself to never talking to you again
how can i possibly do that?
how can i accept that?
how can i possibly do that
how can i accept that?
i love you
i still love you
i love you
i love you
i love you and i miss you
and i love you and i miss you

- lostboyevsky

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