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letra de scp confinement special - anomalies! - lord bung

intro: salesman – why, h-llo there, madam, how are you?
what’s your name?
annie – annie
salesman – annie, it is lovely to meet you! tell me, are you sick of salesmen pitching you the usual uninspired household brick-a-brack on the old windowsill?
annie – yes, i am actually
salesman – well, you’re in luck!
[music starts]
so i couldn’t help notice that your wonderful abode is bland with a capital b! so leave it to me, most definitely, your house is gonna get erased and replaced by stuff from the wonderful cornеrs of the map we’re too dang scarеd to tap! how ’bout that! now you’re listening, soon you’re living, sparkling out of the park with anomalies!

annie – anomalies?

salesman – yes, of highest quality! from mechanical, botanical, satanic and beyond, the sp-wn that makes you ponder, yonder these anomalies! yes, anomalies! affordable in the economy? from the wonderful corners of the map we’re too dang scared to-[music stops]

annie – yeah, yeah, you already said that. what do you mean by anomalies?

salesman – i’m glad you asked! [music resumes] so i got a little microwave right here of humdrum build and brand, but at my command, you can shoot this cute little rooster into the future! how ’bout this refrigerator! pop your pops right in it! but the drawing, please don’t bin it, ‘less you’re itchin’ for cleaning’ your innards out the kitchen! then you petrail to the yard for the mail, but alas to no avail! heed this greedy box’s red flag, for he’s obsessed with the opposite s-x, but now it’s time for a change in scenery! did i mention? it’s a desolate dimension! backed by theocracy, crashed the economy, faceless monsters prosper across this phenomenal price for a lake up north where the townsfolk just won’t go! oh no, it’s bogged with haunted content! and if you’re not content to spend a cent, try leverage for a beverage, keep you energized! close your eyes, but why, say goodbye to pointless nights investing and savor the memories! just kidding! it’s your deepest desires, let’s move on the cowbell! nothin’ magic- i just thought it was funny! now we all love money, but we have no time when the world is coming to an end friend, this clock won’t bide its insides, just might tell if the future will be alright! so whaddaya say

annie – if i buy the microwave, would you leave?

salesman – now that’s the spirit! just sign here, here, and here! have no fear, don’t be alarmed, which you are, not to worry! this dirty gray oven has a 30-day policy guarantee! like you’ll need it, since you’ll bleed out in about thirty seconds, i reckon[voice distorts], so before you enter the realm of the dead with an over and a missing joint, here’s the point, never trust a man in a pitch black suit with a smile that goes on for miles! [voice distorts more] either he’s a creature from the far off reaches of sp-ce or a guy tryna prey on the mentally fragile. the first and the latter need dumbwitted widows, and – augh, my eye!
[buzzing noise]

- lord bung

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