letra de problems of a playboy - lil minecart
whaddup bois, you already know who it is, lil minecart here. yall must think i got everything perfect. but that ain’t the case. you see, i got problems too. big problems. girthy problems. let me tell you what
i got problems
not everything perfect
just broke up with my main b-tch smurfette
you know her coochie blue
she had a nice hue
it too bad that she live in a shoe
but them shoes ain’t nike
i shall strike thee
i’ll hit you then i’ll break my hand
like i’m taking down a tree
used to be a poor man
now i ain’t broke
used to be with no plan
then my girl had a stroke
got financial compensation
traveled all across the nation
now i got too many people goin’ on my page and-
f-ck the rap life
too many chats like
“omg i love you, l!ck my cl-t”
sure, nope sike
plus my lag spike
this i dislike
man why xfinity be f-ckin up my life?
(d-mn)
i spent my last 20 on some sticky icky icky
might have the stiffy, uh, but who the f-ck is bl!cky?
plus my side b-tch gave me a f-cking hickey
what if my mom sees?—man that’d be sh-tty
get a girl in bed and she lookin at me funny
i ask “what?” and she respond “oh it’s nothin honey”
my pants come down and she starts to laugh
this b-tch don’t like my 2 inch staff? god
i got problems! yeah, big -ss problems
internet pedos, don’t even wanna block em
went up to the bus stop, finna go to stop 1
i thanked the bus driver, but abandoned my stepson
i got problems! yeah, big -ss problems
but you know that i ain’t about to solve em
mined too far, now i hit rock bottom
mom ain’t proud, should probly get a job, um
f-ck that, i’m already getting paid
by sittin on the couch and drinkin kool aid
all these godd-mn women, that i gotta slay
“hey! … don’t say the lord’s name in vain!”
sheesh, mom’s got me on a leash
you don’t understand me, and you never will, capeesh?
“you’re spending too much time on that tv”
get out mom, i’m on a k!lling spree
my raps too flame, caught my wolf on fire
tried to put it out, but that b-tch went haywire
flames spread to my pants, now they callin me a liar
but i’m too tired, call me a bike
(ha)
last week i got meat
thought it was fresh
turns out that villager
sold me rotten flesh
now i’m h-lla famished
my hunger bar vanished
now i’m in a panic
can’t manage, the damage
look at me
i’m lil minecart
sittin here at half heart
rippin’ off a phat shart
lookin like some modern art
i be dumb smart
but here’s the bad part
i got chlamydia
i got problems! yeah, big -ss problems
but you know that i ain’t about to solve em
mined too far, now i hit rock bottom
got so many diamonds, but n0body here to stock em
issues! yeah thick -ss issues!
always tellin truth ain’t about the f-ckin fake news
h-lla blue balled, never gettin any d-ck use
just like my songs, i gotta drop a phat deuce
yo, gotta get back on the wh0r-s
sh-t mom, i ain’t got time for ch0r-s
lil minecart here breakin down doors
been in the mines, now i got too much ore
call it golden shower, i’m startin the hour
i got so much iq now im runnin outta brain power
c-ck sour, superpowered, you covered like a cell tower
(s-m-n)
i’m lit like glowstone
spit into this microphone
i be failin spanish cl-ss
i should use rosetta stone
gettin bad grades
but p-ssin all these tests
how the f-ck i get aids
from feelin up yo mother’s breast
std, don’t test me
knock you out like ko
1,2,3
but i’m weak, (true) i don’t work out
arms floppy, (yup) and i don’t got clout
rhymes sloppy, (affirmative) but i don’t doubt
press copy rhymezone, them i’m out
i got problems! yeah, big -ss problems
but you know that i ain’t about to solve em
mined too far, now i hit rock bottom
got so many diamonds, but n0body here to stock em
pickle, i’m in a big -ss pickle!
chargin dimes for s-x but i only gotta nickel
emotions like gravel, yeah they h-lla fickle
hurt so bad, fishin rod in my d-ck hole
you guys ever just beat your meat and your hand gets stuck to your d-ck? yea me neither. the f-ck right
just last week tried to get some logs
my hand missed and i slapped a dog
chomped me on my left knee
pants soaked with wet pee
f-cked him in the b-tt
gotta call it b-ast!-lity
head filled with lettuce
but i don’t eat vegetables
autism be genetic
but it ain’t the cause of all my troubles
all these girls around me
but they ain’t attractable
i’m just a nice guy
this is unacceptable
minecraft sk!lls respectable
social sk!lls compatible
yet i got no girlfriend
cuz of tiny genitals
all my fans swarmin like mobs
too many to count
worship me like a god
your b-tch i mount
gonna ride her like a pig
with a carrot and saddle
don’t challenge me
to an epic rap battle
one time i gotta date (really)
call her a trap chest
took off her shirt (ooh)
suspiciously small breast
pulled down her pants (nice)
she had a d-ck (oh)
turns out her real name was rick (oof)
moral of the story
don’t -ssume genders
can’t think of a rhyme
chicken tenders
(out)
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