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letra de there! right there! - laurence o'keefe & nell benjamin

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[elle]
there! right there!
look at that tanned, well tended skin
look at the k!ller shape he’s in
look at that slightly stubbly chin
oh, please, he’s g-y
totally g-y!

[callahan]
i’m not about to celebrate
every trait could indicate
a totally straight expatriate
that guy’s not g-y
i say not g-y

[callahan, elle, warner, vivienne, brooke and enid]
that is the elephant in the room
well, is it relevant to -ssume
that a man who wears perfume
is automatically, radically fae?

[emmett]
but look at his coiffed and crispy locks

[elle]
look at his silk translucent socks

[callahan]
there’s the eternal paradox
look what we’re seein’

[vivienne]
what are we seein’?

[callahan]
is he g-y?

[elle]
of course he’s g-y!

[callahan]
or european?

[callahan, elle, warner, vivienne, brooke and enid]
ohhhh
g-y or european?
it’s hard to guarantee
is he g-y or european?

[warner]
well, hey, don’t look at me!

[vivienne]
you see they bring their boys up different
in those charming foreign ports
they play peculiar sports

[callahan, elle, warner, vivienne, brooke and enid]
in shiny shirts and tiny shorts
g-y or foreign fella?
the answer could take weeks
they both say things like “ciao, bella”
while they kiss you on both cheeks

[elle]
oh, please

[callahan, elle, warner, vivienne, brooke and enid]
g-y or european?
so many shades of gray

[warner]
depending on the time of day
the french go either way

[callahan, elle, warner, vivienne, brooke and enid]
is he g-y or european, or–?

[enid]
there, right there!
look at that condescending smirk
seen it on every guy at work
that is a metro, hetero jerk
that guy’s not g-y, i say, no way

[callahan, elle, warner, vivienne, brooke and enid]
that is the elephant in the room
well is it relevant to presume
that a hottie in that costume

[vivienne]
is automatically, radically

[callahan]
ironically, chronically

[enid]
certainly, flirtingly

[warner]
genetically, medically

[callahan, elle, warner, vivienne, brooke and enid]
g-y, offically g-y
swishily g-y, g-y, g-y, g-y…
d-mn it!
g-y or european?

[callahan]
so stylish and relaxed

[callahan, elle, warner, vivienne, brooke and enid]
is he g-y or european?

[callahan]
i think his chest is waxed

[vivienne]
but they bring their boys up different there
it’s culturally diverse
it’s not a fashion curse

[callahan, elle, warner, vivienne, brooke and enid]
if he wears a kilt or bears a purse
g-y or just exotic?
i still can’t crack the code

[brooke]
yeah, his accent is hypnotic
but his shoes are pointy toed

[callahan, elle, warner, vivienne, brooke and enid]
huh
g-y or european?
so many shades of gray

[judge]
but if he turns out straight
i’m free at eight on saturday

[callahan, elle, warner, vivienne, brooke and enid]
is he g-y or european?
g-y or european?
g-y or euro–

[emmett]
wait a minute
give me a chance to crack this guy
i have an idea i’d like to try

[callahan]
the floor is yours

[emmett]
so, mr argitakos
this alleged affair with ms. wyndham has been going on for…?

[nikos]
two years

[emmett]
and your first name again is…?

[nikos]
nikos

[emmett]
and your boyfriend’s name is…?

[nikos]
carlos
i-i, sorry!
i misunderstand!
you say “boyfriend”
i thought you say “best friend”
carlos is my best friend

[carlos]
you b-st-rd!
you lying b-st-rd!
that’s it, i no cover for you no more!
peoples, i have a big announcement
this man is g-y and european

[ensemble]
whoa!

[carlos]
and neither is disgrace
you gotta stop your bein’
a completely closet case
it’s me, not her he’s seein’
no matter what he say
i swear he never, ever, ever swing the other way
you are so g-y, you big parfait
you flaming one man cabaret

[nikos]
i’m straight!

[carlos]
you were not yesterday
so if i may, i’m proud to say
he’s g-y

[ensemble]
and european!

[carlos]
he’s g-y

[ensemble]
and european!

[carlos]
he’s g-y

[ensemble]
and european
and g-y

[nikos]
fine, okay, i’m g-y

[carlos/ensemble]
hooray!

- laurence okeefe nell benjamin

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