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letra de i dreamt of a room with all my friends i could not get in - la dispute

sacrifice
still the breeze
lay down in the heat and breathe out

dishes in the sink
garden overgrown with weeds

everything in me now
anything to keep you near
anything to keep you
standing in the door
don’t leave

pull down every window penitently
we’ve grown weak
heavy summer heat
stagnant with your unmet needs

please come back, sweetheart
please i need this
please don’t leave
you said, “you’re mine”
you said, “it’s all fine”
said, “it’s my fault”
i believed it every time
you said
you’d take the time to learn
you’d put the extra work in first
keep promises you made
change how you behave
and everything you said reversed
all the things you did went backwards
planting seeds there
never acted
once they bloomed
now they grow downward in the dirt
entombed

how else is there to say
that last night when i slept
i dreamt about a room
standing in the light
and everyone was there but you
and honestly?
i love you but it felt so good

everyone was laughing
everyone at least passed through
everyone we know
and not a single one remembered you
anymore
or any time before
and members of your family too
everyone you loved
forgot or never met you

and i dreamt about it too
walking down the hall
came upon a door
opened to a room
where you and all my friends
were standing in the light
i tried to get inside
fumbled with the key
and turned it
spun in circles
through the glass
i saw their faces
thrown back in laughter
and it rattled in my head
i woke up in a bed
i pulled you close to me
and slept
and you’re getting up to leave
i’m standing at the door
i’m staring at the creek
there’s water underneath the floor

i’m an unresolved chord
a line left incomplete
a room without a key
i lost it, but you see
i kick and i scream at the door
i’m a garden full of weeds
a dish left in the sink
a room without a breeze
the suffocating heat around me
in the ground now
thrown all backwards
upside down and inside out

let me go
grow high, the garden for you
up the wall to our window and through
in bed where i slept and i dreamt of a room with my friends
i could not get in
stronger in the stem now
let me go
crawl down that hallway again
climb at the end
to the glass on the door
to see you and my friends
to let me see the room
to let me then bloom
please let the flowers open up before i’m through

- la dispute

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