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letra de the rapids - kennedy betts

3. the rapids [prod. mattaveli]

(forest footsteps)

(door)

sometimes i go to the bathroom
just cause i need a break
i sit down on the floor
my hands cover my face
or i sit inside a stall
just trying to get some sp-ce
i wanna cry but i’m torn
between what i feel and fake
cause i’m afraid to be seen
in such a pitiful state
while at work, or while at home
or some other public place
i try to keep it together
but man this is hard to take
don’t even know what i feel
but it’s heavy weight

its like walking through a swamp
then suddenly, its a lake
i was trekking now i’m treading
as i’m pulled in by the waves
i just grab onto a log
as i start to drift away
the walk turns to a jog
as the current starts to change

i look ahead, there’s rocks
the river’s bearing it’s t–th
and all i can do is hold
onto this former tree
i shut my eyes, they’re closed
the flow, it quickens me
a little bumpy at first
uncomfortable say the least
but it’s just gonna get worse
first, definitely
before it gets better
that is just how it be
so i tighten up my grip
as i bounce along the stream
i’m smashing right into sticks
and other kinds of debris
but now its getting rough
like a storm out in the sea
the water’s starting to throw
the rapids are at its peak
im getting thrown up and down
then im pushed way underneath
i go from this side to that
like a leaf trapped in the breeze
i crash and cut my back
i open my mouth to scream

(gasp for air)

but right when i open it
the water silences me
it rushes into my lungs
making it hard to breathe
i’m choking, i’m struggling
to cling to my sanity
but that’s when i realize
i no longer grip the tree

i’m underneath the water
and it’s pulverizing me
it beats me to the dirt
it’s breaking my arms and knees
air bubbles leave my mouth
as i fade into a dream
i’m losing consciousness
i start to see memories
the past and the present
start overlapping on me
am i sinking to the bottom
or surfacing toward the gleam?
i’m detached from my sense
of self, this is extreme
and it’s strange in this state
how i start to feel at peace
how much time has p-ssed?
it feels like eternity
but it’s only a moment
seconds, only 80
it’s only one stage
a phase of the journey

(cough)

and then i feel it calm
as the ground touches my feet
i made it to the sh0r-
open my eyes to see
more trees, more th-rns
the forest runs pretty deep
how many more times
will i see similar scenes
going through the spiral
stages seem to repeat
not exactly the same
but not completely discrete
this journey is so hard
been everywhere in between
but i get up and walk
the spirit keeps calling me
and i’m not gonna stop
till every demon flees
i know i’m getting close
just don’t know how many weeks
calluses on my hands and
scars all over my feet
don’t have any band aids
so i write notes when i bleed

(washing hands)

(breath)

(paper towel rips)

(drying hands and face)

(breath)

(door)

(forest footsteps)

- kennedy betts

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