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letra de may 7th - jxn

at a point when
you’re just back and forth and back and forth in your mind
about something that really bothers you
you just gotta write about it
and put it all on paper
and explain it that way

i need a helping hand, one to brush off all the dirt
i f-cking miss you, but that’s not the way it works
i’m angry cause i get it now, i blamed it on the distance
that was my excuse because the situation given
but i’m hypocritical and difficult, i’m well aware
i’m sorry that i gave you everything and wasn’t there
my intentions were to keep you cause i thought i found my wife
and i just can’t help but blame myself for the reasons we weren’t right
i feel the guilt
i wonder if you feel the way i feel inside
it keeps me up so late at night
i think about the time i didn’t text you for a couple weeks
and wonder if it made you hate me
but listen, i thought about you every second of the day
i just had to find a way to stay away, now i stay awake
i’m left with all these memories
pictures, thoughts, and notes but then i snap back to reality
cause we don’t talk, we don’t text
we don’t have each other’s f-cking backs like we said
they say it’s for the best, how?
feeling like we threw away everything we ever had
let them say it’s for the best cause f-ck them
they weren’t there, they don’t get it
they don’t see the bigger picture, they don’t feel that pain
i f-cking feel that pain
do you feel that pain?

- jxn

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