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letra de a cruel angel's thesis - jvst rebel

lost alotta love on this road
pride got in the way
now i’ve noone to go to
put so many years in
but none of it shows
if i get the chance
i’m scared that i’m gonna choke too
lost my accolades and credibility
lost faith from my peers
i feel my wrath has no validity
the shadows in my mind are calling
just to rip into me
everywhere i f-cking turn
somebody wants to get rid of me
you know what, f-ck it
imma fight until i kick the bucket
since i’m living like i never knew what luck is
always fell short of expectations
heard em shaming in private
that’s what life is
i don’t care for the judgement
you left mе in the dust
when you said you wouldn’t
outlined all of my flaws
and things you said i shouldn’t
whеn it came time to listen
know you really couldn’t
cause if you wasn’t the subject
you’d turn tail and book it

wasted my time tryna envy my peers
start l-sting for money, and sh-t became clear
greed was the problem, that sh-t made em fierce
couldn’t let noone eat cause you gluttons would fleer
my path, i had veered from, that’s why i feel lost
worked to the bone cause i ain’t like these sloths
gave up my life to my shorty and work
just to show up my opps at no matter the cost

i been through all types of pain
from abuse and abandonment
i am to blame
for the bonds i found famine in
i get reminded each day
i’m a burden
this is the price that i pay
that’s for certain
lost in my mind and i’m losing all focus
i can’t even grind cause my passion on frozen
gone, is my drive, i don’t even have motive
been dying inside and this leash is my token
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grew up as a christian
but i don’t care for the father
cause the word of god estranged me
and my real on couldn’t bother
to this day i’m still convinced
that if i speak up, i’ll be martyred
kinda hard to have some honor
when they treat you like you’re fodder
cause i’m just a means to an end
never mattered what the cost
even if mental descends
they put it in my head
that all my worth just depends
on what i solely do for others
if i can’t, well then, that’s the end

but…
this is the last thing i needed
gaslighting the trauma that still is untreated
you tell me to run when i’m feeling defeated
berate me for staying when not what you heeded
i could be a god
you won’t be satisfied
so f-ck you, yo wants and needs
and all that gratifies
you told me grow up
well i did, and i ain’t had to lie
or make somebody feel like
they just had to die
n-gga that’s real

- jvst rebel

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