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letra de evidence - jordaan mason

so godd-mn this devil
we made it on the bevel
can’t he break a brother down?
so bereft and beaten
we got through this season
treading snow and headed south
all these rhymes and vowels
across creeks and cavils
his blood can barely fill me now
so what: they call us nelly
we stay belly-to-belly
i put this ring into his mouth

and i p-ssed the bed again and he held me warm and wet

and he tried to be tender but he could not make it better
and he tried to be tender but he just could not make it better
and i tried to be tender but i could not make it better
and i tried to be tender but i just could not make it better

my bones can barely make a fire
and i can barely make a fire
there is no need for ten gallons of water
the dirt in my head will never grow sunflowers
i do not know you, i am filled with shame
there are peach pits in my mouth again
there’s no science for it i don’t understand
a pr-ck of blood a cylinder of sweat
to keep you strange i will stay away
i will get so close i cannot escape
some fact is fiction, he is cleaning the kitchen
shed sweaters, linens, some s-xual positions
can we switch instead, can we share some bread
can we please never get out of bed
sing a eulogy to erase our sins
find new b-ttonholes where your skin could begin
if your body’s sore i will make some more
i will clack my t–th up tight to yours
comb lint, come less, check for burs & beasts
starve yourself for weeks
that’s a bible, belt, breathe —

a body for every beard chopped straight
and his book coming out in black lines on my face
some dog to be bedded, his genitalia slang, see?
he does what she does as they does (please get off me!)

this winter is a godd-mned sh-t
what about: tender! tender! tender!
wake up hard, wait to wilt
scrub out all the silk, and hug harder

you are too close you will never be close enough
i know it’s you with my eyes shut
because i have left evidence on you
all this violence in my head
other words i would use: pins and needles

and did i really k!ll all those men in my dreams?
well, i forget — i forget
and i wrote no words and i woke up again
with my head in water

i tried to remember what it was that i had done
she described it like a dream that i could not be woken from

oh please don’t call the cops on me!

- jordaan mason

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