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letra de 2016 - joe palmrr

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i would always see her about…
and i’m thinking who’s that?!
she was beautiful, north indian heritage
long black hair to the bottom of her back
and we exchanged a few glances…
but it was never more than that
it was the final term of uni if i didn’t make the move now
well i knew i’d never get the chance

so i approached her when i seen her by herself
sat with a mac in the library
i had work to do, but bun that for a sec
right now it’s the perfect timing…
and we spoke for hours, one of them ones like you know…
when you wonder where the time went
and she didn’t usually speak to guys like that
still, i got her snapchat before she left

and it all seemed live but…
i had this feeling like … deep in my gut
my mind was saying ‘it’s alright’ but like
the whole of my body seemed shook
but i ignored that, and like 3 weeks down the line
me and this girl became an item
you couldn’t tear us apart, i put her there in my heart
i said just tell me bout your life i’ll tell you mine

and that day that we knew it was love
was the day that she started opening-up
she said joe i know i seem fine on the surface
but deep down i’m kinda messed up you see…
you don’t understand the freedom you’re given
my family life, it’s not like that
you see, from time – they have my whole life written
and what we have is not in line with that

you see, that’s the reason why i’m home by 8
and why my dad calls if i’m a minute late
every time i’ve been at yours i lied
you see i’ve said i’m at work or that i’m studying late

and right now the pressures surrounding
cos they’re saying they found guys i could settle down with
and me, i didn’t even know this exists
or maybe it’s just the fact i wasn’t around it, but..

i was in love man
like there’s nothing that i would have put above her man
i swear down if a man talked bad i would have punched a man
not give ‘an arm or a leg’ i would have cut off my hand
i’m tryna contemplate just how we sort this out
but there’s something else that we gotta talk about
cos her fam won’t work it out
so when uni’s done shes gonna fly out to this

summer camp in america
and she’s talked to her family – they’re letting her go
and the program runs for 3 months but she said
the truth of the matter is i’m never coming home

cos i applied before i met you, joe
so, what we got left – we gotta make the most
i said “i’ll meet you there in 3 months”
she said “don’t say that cos it’ll hurt if you don’t come”

so we’re just stretching out this little bit of time that we got left
i told my sister “i don’t wanna lose the girl”
like there’s something about her, she is born blessed and
i’m so invested and, there’s n0body i would rather give me affection
she’s getting off soon, she’ll be jetting
so when i see her next i’m gonna pop the question…

and so i did…she came round i got on one knee like
“i know we joked around but…
i’m been serious now like, i just wanna hold you down…”
and of course, she said “yeah” she was crying like floods of tears
put makeup on my bed – i couldn’t care less right now though
cos’ the girl i loved just said she’d be my wife bro

and that feeling you get when a girl says “yes”
it’s like the beat in ya chest wanna leave out ya pecs
you go weak in your breath like you’re leaping up steps
but…. her plane leaves tomorrow
so we made the agreement that we would
keep on speaking till i get to see her
in 3 months time, i was set to meet her but

she never went through with it
she got to the place she was meant to go
and then she called up her brother said “i can’t do it”
suttin in her heart couldn’t walk through with it
and that’s the first time that she got to feel
like she was left on her own so…
i’m thinking she was unnerved by it – she was disturbed by it
never learned to be fine – how to stand on her own

so i’m thinking like, ‘where does it leave us though?’
cos’ we had this plan, and we had this agreement
like i couldn’t believe it
even told my mam that i was gonna be leaving
and between all the crying and beefing and grieving
i thought it be fine by the time we were meeting
but something wasn’t right i could feel it
i felt like she’d decided to do what’ll please them

but we’d still link up after that
but every time that we met it was stressful
i was tryna get my point across
it’s like nothing i’d say was ever that impactful

thrn she made the decision
i remember it clearly… was coming back from mine
she drove to the bottom of park street
and she pulled into the road on the side

had tears in her eyes
she said joe i can’t do this no more
truth is i could never ever leave my family so
it could never work with us

and that’s the last time that i ever got to see her
and for 18 months i was hurting because
she never showed no emotion so…
it was to find my closure
and slowly over time we stopped speaking
every email sent just lacked meaning
my bro then showed me a photo
like 2 years later she married a sikh man

but me i’d been back to my old ways anyway
beat these girls i keep it ‘casually
and truth be told i might love these but…
i don’t rely on them to love me

and that’s the difference what had changed in me
but looking back now i wouldn’t change a thing
cos’ everything now is how it’s meant to be
and all this pain i come and take to the beat

it might be the way i get my name in the scene
but regardless, i keep that faith in me
cos my music has always been a way to release
and i got so much more if yous’ wait on me

- joe palmrr

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