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letra de process of elimination - joe kinosian, kellen blair

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[steph, spoken]
protocol said that was the last step, right? so you must have all the information you need

[marcus, spoken]
you’re right steph. i must. so if you can just stay quiet, this will all make sense in… three minutes. it has to. now, time for a little process of elimination

[sung]
you all played a part
so we can start by eliminating… none of you

very good

you’re each in a book
which tends to look like an indecisive clue

wait-

since the gun was found here
it’s very clear it was planted there by one of you
we have the why and the how
so as of now let’s stay focused on the who

[mrs. whitney]
who am i to argue but i’m pretty sure the knife was never found…

[marcus]
there is no knife, he was shot! and i thought i told you to-
[mrs. whitney]
sorry! i’m bein’ quiet, we all are. because we respect you

[marcus]
let me see. what do we know about the guilty party?
the k!ller is shrewd
so let’s conclude they’re unlikely to confess to me

[murray]
i’ll confess to bein’ bored!

[marcus]
shhh!
they poisoned the tea
so let’s agree that the k!ller has… an arm

[barrette]
so what if i do?

[marcus]
shhh!

[steph]
he’s talking ???

[marcus]
they went through with the deed
which as a lead really couldn’t matter less to me
[barb]
sorry, i have to go to the bathroom!

[murray]
what has it been, five minutes?

[barb]
can it you fat freak!

[marcus](at the same time)
but whitney’s brains were blown out
so there’s no doubt that the k!ller meant it-

[murray]
charming explanation but i’m telling you the guilty one is her!

[marcus]
stop! murray! you’re not helping!
oh my god, one minute left!

[mrs. whitney]
i can help!

[marcus]
no!
[mrs. whitney]
oh yeah, i’ll sing my “everyone be quiet” song!

[marcus]
no!

[mrs. whitney, sung](marcus, spoken)
quiet quiet quiet!
(no!)
everyone be quiet!
(is this really happening?!)
everyone be quiet tonight!
(this is actually happening)
that’s right!
(fine! i refuse to ???)
and if you can’t be quiet
i’ll tell you to be quiet
(why are you doing this?!)
everyone be quiet all right
(i’ll just keep going)
yight yight yight!

[marcus, sung](at the same time)
you hated him so
which goes to show he was k!lled ‘cause someone hated him
now we’re gettin’ somewhere!
it’s safe to assume
this very room is the place it all took place
lalalalalala
he would have died on his own
if he had known was here and what awaited him

[mrs. whitney]
quiet quiet quiet

[barrette]
will you stop jabbering?

[steph]
everyone! shhhhh! you, quiet!

[mrs. whitney]
everyone be quiet tonight

[murray]
you’re the one who’s always talking, barb!

[barb]
shut up murray! shut the f-ck up!

[steph]
guys you have to let him talk, he has to work ???

[henry]
i forgot my hat

[marcus]
no!

[mrs. whitney]
alright! you better not make a peep, we gotta keep being absolutely quiet so he knows that we respect him and we wish him all our best as he concludes-

[marcus, sung](at the same time)
with people yelling nonstop
how can a cop ever help to solve a case
if no one listens then it’s hard to be effective
and i really gotta hurry if i wanna make detective-
and by “wanna make detective” i don’t mean i’m not detective-
all i mean is i’m a-
i’m a-
i’m-

i’m sorry. i’m sorry everyone, i’ve wasted everyone’s time

[steph]
what are you talking about?

[marcus]
i’m not the detective

[mrs. whitney]
we were quiet
and look what happened
i’m never being quiet again

- joe kinosian kellen blair

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