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letra de whānau pt. ii - jj shadow

i been doing this for years i’m still going hard
say it over and over because i’m sick of getting sn0bbed
i been tryna live this life and i been feeling odd
i feel existence is pointless but i’ll finish the job
i got demons in my mind please pray for me
if only you could hear the words that they say to me
your depressive episode is everyday for me
i’m screaming at my own whānau to get away from me
if there ever is a god i hope he hears me too
but imma keep going hard ‘til i’m old and bruised
until i’m еighty two
you know i’m always gonna stand by truth
and so i gotta lot a sh-t to prove

why do people always act likе they don’t love me?
when i know that they wouldn’t put their own fam above me?
a sickening cycle of all our light being shut in
but i won’t let it happen again i’m too stubborn
maybe it’s cause i’m stoutley
maybe it’s cause i’m realer than most
maybe it’s cause i’m always loving even when they go ghost
maybe it’s because when i say sh-t it ain’t no joke
but yet they take it as theres fakeness in the words that i’ve spoke
maybe i’m just too real
maybe i hold up a mirror?
maybe if they looked into it they’d start to see clearer
my whole fam been outcasted our hearts teared up
but we still stand strong together we never fear em
cause our generational trauma may beat us til we’re broke
but even with all the cracks we stand solid as stone
all the sicknesses we’ve been given are barely a joke
you tell god try harder cause we still gon float
but i been tryna figure it out for years
how come my f-cking mother had to shed so many tears?
how come nana and poppa worked they ass off through the years?
i’m thankful that they found love yeah we still here
i never been black sheep cause we a black herd
a flock of motherf-ckers never fit into the earth
yeah b-tch we know our worth
but they treating us like dirt
always leaving us and yet we still kicked to the curb
we got demons in our mind please pray for us
if only you could hear the words that they say to us
your depressive episode is everyday for us
we screaming at you motherf-ckers stay away from us
if there ever is a god i hope he hears us too
but imma keep going hard ‘til i’m old and bruised
until i’m eighty two
ever since i was born i been feeling like my mind gone
but i stay on earth doing mahi for the whānau
make em pakipaki when i come out get my shine on
had to use my roro hoping i don’t get these lines wrong
when i was a kid they made me feel whakama
erased my whakapapa and made me more pākehā
but i know my roots and it’s deeper than they say
i still wanna ako and so i’m all game
cause baby you can try and take my pride away and make me feel ashamed
like how you made my nana feel like her race should’ve changed
but b-tch you can never take my name
cause g i am mighty
like ihu karaiti
i’ll stand here all day
because you know my wairua strong
and you can never ever break the motherf-cking bond
but yo
i’m in the long white cloud like rangi
f-ck with my whānau that sh-t is your tangi

i used to think that we wasn’t important
but our family history has just been absorbed in
darkness and hurt slavery and distortion
my poppa african but all his life he didn’t know it
my nana māori but was told to never try to own it
and all our language had been broken and our culture stolen
so then we had to build our own and hold it
but struggling is a luxury available to only those who can’t afford it
we found ourselves and we still might change
i do a lot of soul searching to navigate through the pain
but we is f-cking navigators you know we find our way
but when y’all make me feel a way that’s when sh-t goes strange
so imma make sure my whānau proud today
make sure we never ever gonna be enslaved again
cause i’m in love with who i am
and i’m proud of the pain
not my problem that you motherf-ckers ain’t
we got angels on our side and they pray for us
if only you could hear the words that they say to us
the love you share once in awhile is everyday for us
and yet you got the nerve to say “get away from us”?
if there ever is a god i hope he hears you too
but imma keep going hard ‘til i’m old and bruised
until i’m eighty two
but you know i always stand by truth
you motherf-ckers got some work to do

i hope you find your way
i hope you find your way
i hope you find your way
aye
i hope you find your way
i hope you find your way

i hope you find your way
i hope you find your way
i hope you find your way
aye
i hope you find your way
i hope you find your way
i hope you find your way
aye

- jj shadow

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